No time for siesta!

I was reading a blog post this morning where someone described just having a sit down on their patio and being still, being in the moment, I suddenly realised that whilst reading this post I had been jiggling my leg and attempting to skim through the post. I froze trying to figure out what on earth was going on here, reading about someone being still and taking time to enjoy a moment of silence was making me feel restless… are you kidding?! Am I that far gone that even reading about relaxation makes me jittery now? Whoa! Not good!

My mind raced trying to ascertain the reason for this restlessness and the leg jiggling that had alerted me to it, why was I uncomfortable with someone I have never met living god knows where having a sit down on a Sunday afternoon? This makes no sense! Did I think they were lazy? No. Could it be jealousy? I don’t know, perhaps… hmm maybe.

green eyed monster

Jealousy?! Really?! Wow haven’t felt a real bout of that in what 10 years? Crazy! But then I thought she probably worked damn hard for that afternoon of sitting – the green beast replied, ‘any harder than you? Look at you!’. So I did, I took a good hard look at myself and realised that I am a bit of a mess, not on the outside because I am pretty good at maintaining facades it seems. On the outside I am the picture of organised, efficient, insightful, blah blah blah all those words. Inside the whole balance of mind, body and spirit… well right now I don’t think they have even met each other before… they are truly estranged!!! My life over the past 6 months has been crazy and I know I have abused every aspect of myself in attempt to soldier on and get everything done.

But, I am really starting to feel the effects of working full time, studying Uni at night, organising a wedding and being heavily involved with the pre-birth, birth and life of my baby sis’ surprise bub (first baby in the family since my brother 22yrs ago and she was misdiagnosed with digestive problems until 4 months before she was due).

The last week or so I have felt 75 or 80 rather than 21 (ok 28), everything is far more sluggish and my desperate need for sleep and rest screams at me from every pore. I am so grateful to pour myself into bed at the end of the day. I think the only thing keeping me going is healthy eating, coffee and a dream of the honeymoon just over the horizon.

I think my body is beginning to revolt against me the last two days I have had fevers and shocking headaches, which has forced me to spend more time at home, but still I did not rest as much as I should.

My mother finds this disgusting, but my time to myself where no one could get at me was going to the gym, I could turn on MY music and be totally alone in my little sphere for a while. When I was done I felt like I had done something good for my body, regained a little sanity and my thoughts were more in order and at the end I rewarded myself with a long shower (I never do this at home due to water and electricity costs). But with everything going on there hasn’t even been time for me to do this, last time I did a pilates class I almost fell asleep. I find solice in the fact that the major project I have been doing for work will be completed by the end of this week which should hopefully give me a little breathing space and less sleepless nights.

This is not enjoying life… this is spending my life working and my work to life balance is completely out of synch. I have managed to finish all my Uni assessments for the year ahead of time which is one less thing to worry about. This is really nice because now I am able to enjoy more of the wedding stuff rather than it feeling like a chore. And in 5 weeks time the wedding will be over and we will be on a tropical island with no mobile phones, laptops or internet and nothing to do but recreational activities… ohhh the joy!

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Samhain

What is Halloween to you? Growing up in Australia, there was never much celebration of Halloween, it was widely thought of as an American holiday. As a kid I really didn’t care, I just loved the idea of dressing up and getting free candy and was not impressed that I couldn’t do so. However as I grew up a bit and discovered my love of the Celtic culture I discovered that there was a different side to Halloween, it is believed that it is linked (or that it developed from) the festival of Samhain or summer’s end.

Whilst Halloween is celebrated on one night Samhain was actually a harvest festival and celebrations sometimes went for days. There are many similarities posed to a festival of the dead and in some Gaelic folklore it is referred to as such. Whilst it was a harvest festival and celebrated summer’s end, it is also believed that the celebration held spiritual undertones where the long days were now passed and the long nights would begin, it was believed that the veil between the living world and the afterlife was thin. Families come together, build bonfires, feast, sing, dance and tell stories of loved ones who have passed, some still hold the custom today of setting a place for the deceased.

There is a lot more to this story I know, I have basically provided a brief summary of hundreds of years of tradition, but if I went into much detail I may offend or start a massive debate 😀 Which is not my aim.

Having Gaelic ancestors that I know very little of I am very interested in this culture, apart from the fact it is a harvest festival and time to take stock of supplies for the winter (apparently a lot of what is consumed during the feasts is perishables). I find the custom of celebrating the lives of one’s ancestors a rather beautiful tradition, having a celebration during which you tell stories of their lives in a way I believe really does bring part of them back because you are renewing your love for them and their memory in your heart and those of your family. In this day and age sometimes we forget to really spend time remembering and telling stories to our children of those who have come before us and I find that a little sad. My nephew (the first in my family) is now almost 4 months old and my grandfather and grandmother passed away almost 10 years ago now – way before everyone had webcams, YouTube and Smartphones etc. they were from the days where the phones were so big it took a whole day to dial a number. My family have started writing or typing up little titbits and stories about my grandparents before we forget them, in the effort to create a kind of ancestor folk lore pool of knowledge (ooh just made that up, but doesn’t it sound schnazzy!), we realised that we had forgotten so much about two people who were such a major part of our lives and that my nephew (Hendrix) would never know them if we didn’t tell him about them. So we hope to tell him stories about them so that he learns about where and who he came from. I might share some soon…

Hendrix

Meanwhile just as a side note… I still love dressing up in costume and partying on Halloween and am completely stoked that Australian’s are now very accepting about the holiday (20 years later). I am even having my hen’s party on Halloween weekend and we will be dressing as a bevy of Pirates! As a lover of Gilbert & Sullivan as a child and Johnny Depp as an adult there really was no better choice was there?! I finally get to be a Pirate Queen!!! What/who will you be on Halloween?

Grace O'Malley

I almost got expelled at the age of 6!

I almost got kicked out of a Catholic Primary School, not for fighting or swearing, but because they declared me to be a blasphemous child. I find this rather strange because I had no idea what that meant at the time as I was 6 years old an obviously a total angel!

How did I upset the forgiving Catholics so much? Well I was brought up to ask questions and to enjoy learning (yes yes my mother is a teacher), so I was looking forward to Primary School even though I chucked the required tanty on the first day when I was dropped off.

I digress, back to the story… one bright sunny morning our teacher began teaching us about dinosaurs and when they roamed the earth (I thought dinosaurs were the bomb) then after lunch we had bible study. Here is where I got confused… ‘if god created the earth in seven days then when were there dinosaurs? I thought you said they came before man’. Apparently you can’t question what is in the bible, I was given an answer I don’t remember possibly because it didn’t answer my question, because I didn’t get an answer I kept asking the question. Then I started being ignored, I don’t know who on earth taught teachers that ignoring children will make them go away – what morons they were. My response was to go and ask other teachers, when they couldn’t answer me I went to the boss, I took myself to the Principals office because she must know everything because she is a Nun and a Principal, she told me some garble about how perhaps when the bible says seven days it didn’t mean days, perhaps back then days could mean many years. Ahh ok so why didn’t they just write that it took many years to create the earth, that’s a lie, why did God lie to make himself sound good. THAT was when they called my parents! Apparently I was a horrid child who taught the other student bad behaviour and they believed I was a devil child who was turning children away from God and the church with my incessant questioning. I don’t think it helped that they sat me at a table in the Principal’s office with paper and crayons during this meeting and I promptly began drawing dinosaurs, thinking I was being nice I signed it and told her I had made her a present and gave her the drawing. Oops! But when you are a kid you get obsessed with these things until you get what you need and then you move on.

Teaching evolution and creationism in the same school just does not work (especially an extremely strict Catholic one)… it messes with kids heads! When I was 8 I one day asked the Priest why there were only altar-boys not altar-girls, he said that women shouldn’t touch things of God. I said that God was a meanie and should learn manners because we are supposed to share and why didn’t God’s Mummy teach him how to share? And maybe God needed a time out. THAT’s when my parents were called again. Luckily my mother is quite into equality and so she took on the Priest and the Headmistress and said how dare they cast God in such an unfavourable light for her child. Women and men should be held as equals by God blah blah blah, I think I then ruined her tirade by interrupting and saying I didn’t want to be Catholic anymore because their God was naughty and I wanted to find a God that would let me play with his stuff!

Not long after this I had my long hair all cut off because I spent a lot of time at the beach and HATED knots, until it grew out the Principal always made comments about me being a boy – man she hated me!!! My parents never believed me enough to go down to the school about it though.

You have to be careful what you teach children, because you honestly do confuse them. When the parents demanded the inclusion of sexual education (this was spurred by the fact that there had been a sexual predator in our area trying to get kids into his car – they wanted us to learn what no meant) they really shouldn’t have held that after bible study. Many of us kids went home and asked their parents why God didn’t really ask Mary’s permission and if Mary had said no. They changed the sex ed classes after that, they then consisted of the girls and boys being separated… the girls were shown what happens when you put a tampon into a water glass – I have no idea what the guys were shown.

Is there a point to this? Hmmm wait let me make one up… ok here it it…

1/ Don’t teach your kids to question and learn unless you mean it

2/ Don’t teach evolution and creationism in the same school

3/ Try not to confuse God figures (whichever you may embrace) in kids heads

4/ Kids do get bullied by teachers, if your kid says something like they hate their teacher, find out why! I know a lot of kids say it, but sometimes there is a good reason.

5/ Don’t punish children for being smart enough to see that what they are being told does not add up! It makes them want to stop learning because they feel punished for it.

Tree of Knowledge

My Favourite things

Okay I will admit it, I am a total and complete “lister” I like lists, I love reading posts created by other “listers” (yes it is a word, because I say so! If ‘bootylicious’ can be a word then ‘listers’ is a shoe-in!). I have decided to embrace my love of lists after my previous post and after trawling through the hilarious musings of Barb Best http://barbsblast.wordpress.com she’s awesome check her out!

Now, when I say, “my favourite things”, I don’t necessarily mean objects like chocolate (although that is definitely high on the list) as I feel this is a bit limited. Plus running of a list of objects I love kind of feels like when I ask my 2.5yo niece what she loves and I get back, “Mummy, Daddy, Horsie (plush toy), Indy (families dog, she can’t say dog though – if she sees a big dog it is called an “Indy”, if she sees a small dog it is called a “Shorty” which is her Nan’s dog’s name – SO cute!) & Chuggington! So I am not going to limit myself to objects, I am discovering that my posts are as much about what I want to say as what I want to share with others, so here are my self discovery musings for today.

These are not necessarily in order, well except for the first one.

1/ Family – there is nothing better than family time, ‘laxing out on a weekend for no reason with your siblings or your parents. My Mum is my best friend, I tell her everything, she is my Hero and the reason I wanted to become a Librarian.

2/ Going to sleep to the sound of rain pattering on my window – it’s just so relaxing, does it make me need to pee? Sometimes, which is frustrating, but generally this is only when I needed to in the first place.

3/ My fiancée – 4 years on and he can still make me laugh until I cry, a practical thinker and not overly romantic, but thoughtful and very loving and a hell of a lot of fun! Quite intelligent and definitely not a bore to talk to on any number of subjects. Has been frequently mistaken for Charlie Pickering, he actually autographed something one day because the person wouldn’t leave him alone, good thing they didn’t check the autograph though because he signed it as himself and once went clubbing decked out as Jack Sparrow, practiced for a week to get the walk and talk just right and as we were walking through the city was actually asked to come into clubs and was paid $50 by some dude on the street for being “f***ing awesome bro”. Light of my life, I look forward to many interesting years ahead of us and god help us if our children are as crazy as either of us!!!

4/ A massive belly laugh – is there anything better? Think about your last really fabulous chortle, cackle, guffaw (possibly accompanied by a pretty decent snort), how brilliant did you feel afterwards?! Laughter is definitely a perfect prescription for most any ailment. Almost as good as an orgasm, but not quite… and sometimes just as much clean up 😀

5/ Chocolate!!!!! – NOM NOM NOM does this really need a reason? It just is and it is perfection! Someone should write a blog about it, I can see it now… “Travelling the world… one chocolate tasting at a time”. Chocolate used to be a form of currency, it is probably a good thing it isn’t anymore as I would be oh so poor, in fact lactose intolerant people would rule the world because everyone else would be eating their money!!!

6/ Music – Music is like the weather, no matter what it is it will have some affect on you, some will love it, some will hate it. Music is like modern day poetry and just like poetry some of it belongs on the wall of a public toilet and some belongs in the halls of fame! There is nothing better than driving along in your car and pumping some song that makes you so gleeful and singing at the top of your lungs (yeah that is probably me at those traffic lights). Nothing more special than singing to a crowd and seeing how you are effecting people (hopefully in a not wanting to stick fingers in their ears way).

raaga-raga.blogspot.com

7/ Friends – I have some friends that I consider my brothers and sisters, I truly embrace the ideal, “friends are the family you choose for yourself” – I have no idea who said this originally as I have seen it so many places. Recently saw it on a plaque in someone’s bathroom right next to, “if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie” not sure how they relate, maybe it’s just me.

8/ Work – I am one of the people lucky enough to love my job, I am in the exact organisation I have dreamed of working in and have the satisfaction of knowing that I got myself here through really hard work and a lot of crappy jobs that I took just to get me experience in the right stuff. Plus the access to books is awesome!!!

9/ The beach – I can be wound as tight as a boa constrictor on it’s prey, 5 minutes sitting in the sand listening to the waves and I am as relaxed as a new born with a full tummy. I don’t know what it is, but the beach just speaks to be on some base level, it balances me out somehow. No I am not a water sign, I am a creative, firey-ass Leo… it literally feels like being at the beach just moderates the flame for a while or brings down the internal temperature. I don’t understand it, I think something that feels that good (and is legal) doesn’t warrant an explanation.

I was planning to be really unique here and stop at 9 because most lists have this innate need to make an even number and 10 is a pretty clichéd number, but couldn’t leave out this last one…

10/ Animals – I adore animals, and I detest anyone that abuses animals! My fiancée and I have taken in 4 dogs, 3 cats, 3 birds and a pregnant guinea pig over the years, all of which were badly treated and we have found homes for more animals that we just couldn’t help. People say animals take more than they give and they are beneath us, I don’t think that is true. It’s not like I am asking for dogs to have the right to drive cars or vote or anything, but I don’t think they should be kicked around and treated like garbage and I know that the animals we have rehabilitated love us unconditionally. They don’t care if I haven’t done my hair or make up, or if I have blemishes or stink because I just got back from the gym, when’s the last time an animal called you fat? Much kinder than humans, although if you don’t have them de-sexed they do “spray” pretty much everything, marking it as their own, which is a ‘fowl’ experience! (Pun intended hehehe :D)