You hope for many things when you go through those first stages of setting up your blog, you hope it is a spicy hot roaring success, you hope no one boos you and you desperately hope that you don’t suck at it! Let’s be honest here… you want Tucker Max level fame. You want a blook, you want your blook turned into a movie… you pretty much wish for the stars because, well… why wouldn’t you?!
I am always interested in who visits my blog and how they find me so I check out my stats page generally once a day. So today as per normal I head on over to my stats page, generally my viewings don’t go up until later in the day as most of my readers are still asleep when it is lunchtime in Australia 🙂 so I wasn’t really expecting much… I was actually going to look at yesterday’s results. But before I could click on yesterday’s stats I got a little shock that I found under the “Search engine terms” area, please see screen shot below:
What the… WHAT?!?!
First of all… YUCK! Why is someone looking for that? Who wants to look at anything cut open.
Second of all… Wait… how the hell did they get to my blog by Googling that?!?!
So you know what I had to do right?
I had to! I had to know how and more importantly WHY that search brought them to my blog as I know I have not written about “smelly cysts” in… well… EVER!
So I hit the search button because at this point I certainly was not feeling lucky and held my breath. The results came back – 669,000 okay so that is not that high for a Google search, but maybe it was a fluke and I am buried way back in the results somewhere. Skim page one… SAFE! YES! Skim page two… SAaaa…oh shit. There I am… smack in the middle of page two.
The title that comes up really does not make things any better, no silver lining to be found in that unfortunate title at all. Just so I am quite clear… I do not roll with “grungy smelly cysts”. Grungy, smelly musicians… yes, but the smell is created by a fun day at a festival – not cysts.
What a hot (apparently smelly) mess! I am pretty much freaking out and thinking
So what do I do? I mean I am not about to delete all that content (which ranges across a few different posts) because I was happy with that content, so what should I do?
Then I realised that the only reason someone would be Googling “grungy smelly cysts” is probably if you had one and if you did have one you would probably be a bit sad.
So the only appropriate thing to do would be to write a post with a bunch of references to “grungy smelly cysts” so that my blog hopefully makes it to page one of the results next time someone Googles it 🙂 Let me know if I succeed if you dare to try it haha.
Loosely inspired by The Daily Post’s Ring of Fire challenge. I happened to be reading it just before I found this and got inspired 🙂
May 2nd, 2014 at 10:32 am
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May 2nd, 2014 at 10:40 am
Ahahahahahahahah you got me laughing and up when it is so late here and I’m hungry for the last few hours… Will be back tomorrow reading more I followed 😀
When you “suck” you can’t be “sucking” on the page 2!! Sucking is in the ” because your content does not suck and not because I am thinking of some kind of “sucking” Well… I hope that doesn’t go in search.
May 2nd, 2014 at 10:53 am
Thanks for the follow, I am so glad you enjoyed it. It was a very literal post as I pretty much put down my exact thought process haha.
Page 2 of Google results is pretty good for anyone that is true haha, just the reason why was somewhat unfortunate.
Meanwhile your comment inspired me to re-Google to see if my plan worked… yeah it did. I am now quite high up on page one hahaha. Hopefully the sufferers who Google this term in the future feel better by reading my content. 🙂
May 2nd, 2014 at 7:15 pm
Oh my…God. That made me laugh even more… I am so sorry for your missfortune and that it amuses me 😀
But it is so awesome and I am always (ok most of the time) open for laughing on my own account also 🙂
May 2nd, 2014 at 11:28 am
We all get strange visitors using weird search terms. I’ve had a few visitors who I thought maybe I should report to some authority. Where do they come up with those search terms? The only thing we know for sure is there are a lot of wackos in cyberspace.
May 2nd, 2014 at 5:06 pm
I have no idea where they get the search terms, at first I was a tad shocked. But embracing it and running with it has ended in an amusing post 🙂 thanks for visiting!
May 2nd, 2014 at 1:32 pm
How funny! And how curious I am now to check out my own stuff? I guess it does make sense when you think about how some searches do lead you to a site that has nothing to do with your search other than your keywords sprinkled throughout. Thanks for the smile! I needed it after a long, hard day.
May 2nd, 2014 at 2:51 pm
No problems Kat, I am so glad that I was able to make you smile 🙂 Now the day is coming to an end kick off you shoes, have a cuppa and relax 🙂
May 2nd, 2014 at 1:50 pm
So, I just googled “grungy smelly cysts cut open”. Your blog takes up the first four slots for that search! you made it to the first page!!! Reading your post had me cracking up. Just goes to show the crazy things Google picks up! So happy you found my blog because now I have found your fantastic blog!
May 2nd, 2014 at 2:49 pm
Haha yes! Woohoo, my strange yet apparently brilliant plan to dominate those search results has worked 🙂 I am so impressed you actually went and Googled it.
I’m glad you got a giggle out of it, I found it so funny and I just had to share.
I love your blog also and am looking forward to reading more from you 🙂
May 2nd, 2014 at 3:09 pm
he he he got a follow out of this, and I am NOT interested in grungy smelly whatnots. Your theme looks like it is the “grunge” theme (which is what I was first thinking), is it that one?
May 2nd, 2014 at 3:29 pm
Yup, sure is grunge 🙂
Thanks for reading and following, I have popped over to your blog and love it, we both get a new follower today YAY!
May 2nd, 2014 at 5:35 pm
double win, loving it.
May 2nd, 2014 at 3:09 pm
Oh, and because you are a fellow Aussie.
May 2nd, 2014 at 5:07 pm
That is always a valid reason! 🙂
May 2nd, 2014 at 5:36 pm
July 8th, 2014 at 5:33 am
That’s funny! Any even funnier: congratulations are due. You are now #1 on google for ‘grungy smelly cysts’. Good job. Something to be proud of. I guess.
July 8th, 2014 at 9:39 am
Hahaha that’s hilarious, my master plan worked 🙂 If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em 😛
April 25th, 2015 at 2:42 am
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