Mother’s Day Blues

Happy Mother’s Day to my awesome Mum.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the Mums out there.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the expecting Mums and
Happy Mother’s Day to all the hopeful Mums.

When you are trying for a baby and having issues in that area there is nothing more depressing than the arrival of the crimson tide each month… or so I thought. It turns out having the tide come in on Mother’s Day is even more depressing, but I adore my Mum so I kept my chin up and haven’t been outwardly sad yet 🙂

Then my Dad came home with beautiful purple flowering plant for my Mum and I was touched and wondered if I would ever get to experience that on Mother’s Day. This did make me sad and I thought I would sneak away to my room for a minute and have a little tear time then suck it up to come back out. As I was walking away my Dad came running after me and gave me a plant with pink flowers and wished me a happy Mother’s Day too. *queue ‘Awwwwwww’* It was completely lovely and kind of made me want to cry even more with the sweetness of his actions. How do you all handle Mother’s Day?

Mother’s Day is a wonderful thing, but after being wished “happy Mother’s Day” a few times this week at different stores I wonder if people really think before they speak. Every time someone said it to me I didn’t really know what to do with it, I was not about to tell them my sad tale and I didn’t want to tell them I wasn’t a mother and make them feel bad (although in hindsight either of these options were good choices because the person would have stopped saying it potentially protecting others like me), so I just took to saying, “you too”. Even to the guys. Which they probably found odd, but it’s no more odd to wish every female above child bearing age a ‘Happy Mother’s Day’ is it? To be fair I know I am over sensitive on Mother’s and Father’s day, it has been 3.5 years and it doesn’t really feel like we are closer to our bundle of joy.

The meditation I have been doing has been amazing for reducing stress. Seriously, you should check it out. It also gives me time each night to envision having a child, holding them, touching their chubby cheeks and tiny hands. I think this is a positive thing, well it has been for me because it has reduced my stress levels A LOT and renewed my hope – I have even been more productive at work and lost more weight after having plateaued for months… I have finally passed the 10kgs lost mark WOOHOO! – I probably should confess I am eating a Tim Tam while writing this, but it is Mother’s Day and I just got my period so I will have my Tim Tams and eat them too 🙂

I also have some news… pretty much the only silver lining to AF arriving today is that tomorrow I start my first round of Clomid. I have heard that many women have extreme emotional reactions to this drug, does anyone have some stories about their experiences or some advice to share with me?

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