Mother’s Day Blues

Happy Mother’s Day to my awesome Mum.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the Mums out there.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the expecting Mums and
Happy Mother’s Day to all the hopeful Mums.

When you are trying for a baby and having issues in that area there is nothing more depressing than the arrival of the crimson tide each month… or so I thought. It turns out having the tide come in on Mother’s Day is even more depressing, but I adore my Mum so I kept my chin up and haven’t been outwardly sad yet πŸ™‚

Then my Dad came home with beautiful purple flowering plant for my Mum and I was touched and wondered if I would ever get to experience that on Mother’s Day. This did make me sad and I thought I would sneak away to my room for a minute and have a little tear time then suck it up to come back out. As I was walking away my Dad came running after me and gave me a plant with pink flowers and wished me a happy Mother’s Day too. *queue ‘Awwwwwww’* It was completely lovely and kind of made me want to cry even more with the sweetness of his actions. How do you all handle Mother’s Day?

Mother’s Day is a wonderful thing, but after being wished “happy Mother’s Day” a few times this week at different stores I wonder if people really think before they speak. Every time someone said it to me I didn’t really know what to do with it, I was not about to tell them my sad tale and I didn’t want to tell them I wasn’t a mother and make them feel bad (although in hindsight either of these options were good choices because the person would have stopped saying it potentially protecting others like me), so I just took to saying, “you too”. Even to the guys. Which they probably found odd, but it’s no more odd to wish every female above child bearing age a ‘Happy Mother’s Day’ is it? To be fair I know I am over sensitive on Mother’s and Father’s day, it has been 3.5 years and it doesn’t really feel like we are closer to our bundle of joy.

The meditation I have been doing has been amazing for reducing stress. Seriously, you should check it out. It also gives me time each night to envision having a child, holding them, touching their chubby cheeks and tiny hands. I think this is a positive thing, well it has been for me because it has reduced my stress levels A LOT and renewed my hope – I have even been more productive at work and lost more weight after having plateaued for months… I have finally passed the 10kgs lost mark WOOHOO! – I probably should confess I am eating a Tim Tam while writing this, but it is Mother’s Day and I just got my period so I will have my Tim Tams and eat them tooΒ πŸ™‚

I also have some news… pretty much the only silver lining to AF arriving today is that tomorrow I start my first round of Clomid. I have heard that many women have extreme emotional reactions to this drug, does anyone have some stories about their experiences or some advice to share with me?

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About DitchTheBun

I have a new job and now work in a Public Library full time as the Reference & Information Services Librarian. It is a full on, busy role with much variety and many challenges and I love it! I have strange sometimes very outside the box ideas that I want to try at work, I just need to convince others of how awesome my ideas are. Saving the Library, one awesome plan at a time. Hmm... I need a cape - all the awesome super heroes have a cape! View all posts by DitchTheBun

15 responses to “Mother’s Day Blues

  • mamajo23

    Mother’s Day really is the hardest I think. So many triggers and land mines. Clomid made me feel super emotional and edgy and irritable. I just kept in mind it was the drug and was easy on myself and kept reminding my husband to be gentle with me too. Good luck. Always nice to have a plan!

    • DitchTheBun

      I think you are right. I try my best to be positive which strangely seems to get easier once the nieces and nephews turn up because who can be sad with their sweet smiles around πŸ™‚
      Thanks for the advice I will bear that in mind. Great now I have to deal with period emotions and Clomid emotions hahaha this sounds like fun LOL.

  • Amy M.

    My experience with Clomid hasn’t been horrible. First month I was on 50mg, and on day 4 I had an emotional breakdown…but it was partly because B had been being a jerk, so I don’t fully blame the Clomid for that. 2nd month I was on 100mg and had no side effects at all. Not sure if this month I will be on 100mg again, or if he will increase it to 150mg…either way hopefully I’ll be side effect free again! Hope that you get through it without too much hassle.

    • DitchTheBun

      Thanks for sharing! It was really nice to hear a positive Clomid experience. I am starting on 50mg, so worried about missing something that I literally just old-ladied it and put them all in a pill organiser for the week hahaha.
      My fingers are crossed SO TIGHT for this cycle. Hope baby, hope πŸ™‚

  • yearningformotherhood

    Best of luck with the Clomid. I went from 50mg to 100mg to 150mg. No emotional side effects- just sharp pelvic pain as all the little follicles cause your ovarian capsule to stretch, and with the increasing dose, it made me “menopausal” – so got hot flushes and very dry down yonder :-s
    But… It’ll all be worth it if you get a little bean out of it. My friend got pregnant on cycle number 6- so try not to lose hope if things don’t work first time round! X

    • DitchTheBun

      Thanks for sharing your experience. It’s nice to hear that some of you had no emotional turmoil on Clomid, one of my gfs (the only one who has infertility issues) was on Clomid and it did horrible things to her she was snappy and because everything irritated her she tried to withdraw from everyone and insulate herself, poor thing.
      I’ll keep that in mind. I’m kind of sick of playing it safe and not getting my hopes up though to be honest hahaha.

  • EmilyMaine

    Good luck with the clomid! I have only ever had a real small dose for a short time and didn’t have any issues. Your dad sounds like a real sweetie. πŸ™‚

    • DitchTheBun

      I know he totally is πŸ™‚ They have even offered to help us pay for IVF if we need it – awesome parents πŸ™‚
      Well I took it this morning and I didn’t seem to have any issues. The only thing I had this afternoon is a overwhelming craving for chocolate, but I choose to blame it on AF because that is a pretty common thing for me during this time πŸ™‚

  • RavishingRoses

    good luck with the clomid!! Love your blog would be great if you could check out mine

  • libraryowl33

    Awww, your dad sounds amazing! I would have started crying if that had happened to me.
    As for Clomid… I never had any emotional side effects, just hot flashes. Btw, I’m jealous of your Tim Tam, the UK has the best sweets! Hubby had a box of Crunchie bars shipped over for my birthday last year. BEST. PRESENT. EVER!!

    • DitchTheBun

      He is an awesome Dad, very thoughtful! πŸ™‚
      Your Hubby sounds awesome! Shipping crunchie bars for you definitely scores some brownie points πŸ™‚
      Australian Tim Tams are the best, I am completely biased obviously, but I don’t care. That Tim Tam was so worth it!! πŸ™‚
      I can’t remember if I posted the Crunchie and Tim Tam Ice Cream cake I made for my birthday last year. Pretty sure I did, you should check it out. I have since made it three more times because my family love it so much hahaha. When experiments go RIGHT!

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