Monthly Archives: June 2015

Specialist blues

I am apologising in advance for any snarky or sarcastic comments I make in my post. I am a little upset and scared about the outcomes of our appointment and it turns out that sarcasm is my go to dealing mechanism 🙂

Friday we went back to the fertility specialist, it was not fun and parts of it I got annoyed with. He wasn’t impressed that I stopped taking Eutroxsig instead of doing his suggestion of seeing a hair loss specialist. I explained that within 2 days of ceasing the medication my hair had stopped falling out and I had stopped sweating rivers and that by trying it this way I had saved myself over $350 that would have been spent needlessly because the hair loss was not because I am fat (which is basically he told me before). He still wasn’t impressed and told me he would give me a different medication to see how that goes, but that I really, really need to be on thyroid medication and that not taking could affect my fertility (apparently freaking everything I do or do not do affects it – who knew my reproductive system could be so finnicky).

He asked me how much weight I had lost and I said, “another 5kgs so 10kgs in total”. He said he wouldn’t count from before he started seeing me so I still needed to lose another 6-10kgs before IVF would be approved for me. WTF? That kinda made me feel like how hard I had worked to lose those 10kgs didn’t matter at all! He just wove them off like they were never there. Rude skinny man, he obviously has no idea the torture of trying to be healthy and lose weight when you have PCOS, Insulin Resistance and thyroid problems, how insensitive and douchy! Before we got married (pre-diagnosis) I went to the gym at least 3 days a week for cardio and weights, Zumba 2 days a week, pilates 1-2 days a week, I ate EXTREMELY well and as the due date got closer I actually ended up going to a shake diet because I just was not losing any more weight… in the end I could only just dip below the 100kgs mark… with all of that work I still couldn’t get smaller than that. That is seriously de-motivating. Meanwhile in the couple of months since we had seen him Hubby had ONE piece of homework… to go and get a blood test done and he never did it. The damn Doctor didn’t even mention it. I brought up whether there was more we could do to help his sperm and Doc says, “oh he has 3% normal, so that should be okay”.

Then comes the fun part, he wants me to have laparoscopic ovarian drilling, he seems to think that I have endometriosis even though we have found no trace of it on scans and I don’t have symptoms. He seems to believe that it could be significant basically because he has no other excuse for why we are not pregnant after over 3 years of trying. I asked about checking for tube blockages and he said they can do that at the same time because then I will be knocked out for it – which to be honest is kinda nice because I wasn’t looking forward to that test.

The problem isn’t ovulation because I am ovulating which is why I was confused at first because he just said, “we are going to move forward with ovarian drilling” and I was like, well hang in there buddy, why are we drilling for oil when it’s coming out of the ground of its own accord? But apparently he suspects endo and feels that even though I am ovulating perhaps the endo is creating a hostile environment for fertilisation or some crap. I have done a bit of reading on the process since and a bunch of the stuff (even the pamphlets he gave me) all say it is to start ovulation in women with PCOS who do not respond to medications. If I have endo and it gets rid of it I suppose I have to do it right?

The only time I have been admitted to hospital was to have my wisdom teeth removed and I had a panic attack just before being wheeled in. You guys I am totally freaking out. Hubby and Mum are all, it’s nothing, just keyhole surgery, we both had out appendix and gall bladders removed and we are fine. I get this and I know that there is a very low risk, but Jesus, they are going to be burning off parts of my freaking ovaries… thems the baby egg makers.

If any of you have been through this surgery I could really use some positive stories that have come from it.

I also have to still lose that weight so I am thinking I will have to get super strict and serious, I might have to develop my own challenge around this so I can make it work. I got the other medication last night too and started taking it this morning, early days, but I will let you know if I need to raise wig money 🙂

I could totally rock this look right? I loves me some purple!

I could totally rock this look right? I loves me some purple!


Clomid cycle round 2

So here I am on my second round of Clomid 50mgs. The emotional stuff has been a lot easier this cycle, but the ovulation stuff has been a LOT more noticeable. I have had serious cramping and since my basal temp had dropped significantly the morning after that started I assume it is ovulation time. The cramping was very similar to period cramping in that it was low in the abdomen, not as severe as the cramping I often get with AF, but definitely noticeable with a few serioius twinges that made me jump or exclaim out loud. Anyone else had this on Clomid?

Around the cramping time I found I didn’t have much of an appetite, yesterday in particular I ate VERY little. I just really didn’t want it and I figured that if that was what my body was telling me then okay I shall listen. It started off the same way this morning, I couldn’t really face the idea of breakfast, even though my breakfast is generally a protein shake. So I thought I would have a breakfast bar when I got to work, I ended up being able to face it around 10-10.30, then I had some low GI biscuits, but the sweetness of it wasn’t for me. Since then I have been ravenous and I am completely craving salt, I tried to have good stuff for lunch including yoghurt and I ate the yoghurt (YUMMO), but seriously I could not shut my brain up. It was demanding chips. This is kinda weird because last night even though I didn’t want to eat I was getting cravings for plain corn chips at like 11pm last night which are really salty too. Long story short, my brain won, but I bought the reduced satruated light chips so it didn’t get me all the way – it was begging for full fat crinkle cut 🙂 This kind of all consuming craving is pretty new to me, well I guess I have had it for chocolate, but not so bad that it was all I could think about. Then I realised it has been a REALLY long time since I had a potato chip, any kind of potato chip. Seriously it would be a few weeks at least. Thinking over my meals from the past few weeks I think they have been a little low in the salt department too so I am thinking I can see what happened here 🙂 Might have to have a couple of scrambled eggs on toast nights. Oh man does that sound good! Okay, so the craving hasn’t really settled down even though I should be salt happy now, what the? So hungry, very weird.

We have an appointment with the specialist on Friday, I think for me this will be crunchtime as to whether we proceed with him or not. He is okay and I felt a lot better about him at our second appointment, but we shall see because I was less than impressed with the hair shenanigans and I never bothered to ring and tell him that I had elected to not go to a hair specialist and instead just stopped taking the thyroid meds because I didn’t like how I was on them. I have been okay with tracking my temperature (I have missed 2 days, the first one because I had dogs desperately jumping all over me because we overslept and they needed to be let out for their morning ablutions and the second being this morning because I woke up late) so I have that data for him. I have also been tracking the length of AF and my cycles since November 2014 so I have that data for him too. You can really see the difference the metformin is making. I was always around 33 days (sometimes it would not come at all) now I was 30 days for many months and just last month I went down to 29 which is pretty cool. Not cool that I have AF more frequently, but at least the timing is sorting itself out to be regular 🙂

What do you guys think? I am thinking 36.07 was my O queue :)

What do you guys think? I am thinking 36.07 was my O queue 🙂

So if I assume that 36.07 was my ovulation queue, how long am I supposed to wait until I test for pregnancy? I normally just wait for AF to come to town, but I want to make sure that I am not actually conceiving, but it is not being retained so I thought I would do a pregnancy test a bit before AF was due to make sure. I figure the only harm to come of it will be the money I spend on tests 🙂

If this cycle doesn’t work we will also have to decide whether we proceed with Clomid at a higher dose or I don’t know… do something else. I guess we will discuss that with the Doc. To be honest I am not sure what I want to do yet. I am feeling a little frustrated because I have done a myriad of tests and take all these pills daily and in 5 months my Husband keeps forgetting to take his Menevit (1 pill a day) and has not been able to get down the street to do ONE blood test. I have done many, he was asked to do ONE and in 5 months he hasn’t been able to get there. It’s a bit of a downer really. Also because I know if we agree to move forward and get to the point of IVF the Doc will only insert one, we go through all the pain and needles and hormones and money and everything for one microscopic chance? That doesn’t make sense to me. Twin me up baby, give me double the chance. Still unsure how I feel about that whole part of it, but we shall see I guess.

How are you guys all doing on your journey?


Library returns

So… a 14 year old boy returned these to the Library yesterday…

returns
I assume the Bible is the chaser for 50 Shades so he can get over his guilt??? This amused us endlessly during our 2 hour desk shift. It is possibly the best return combination I have ever seen.

I would love to hear some of your borrowed or returned stories 🙂


The Brazilian Files

Warning: I’m talking waxing people

They say “beauty is pain” – I don’t know who started that, I even Googled it and could not figure it out, suffice to say in a lot of cases it is true. Today however I am talking about a specific kind of pain… I am talking about the dreaded waxing… the brazilian!

Now, I don’t know about you, but I like to get all my waxing/beautician stuff over in one go. I go in once every 5 weeks and do the eyebrows, bikini line etc. I have thought about permanent hair removal, but that is about as far as I have got with that… thought about it LOL.

Recently I went on my regular visit to the beautician I have been seeing for many, many years. I even followed her when she moved a few suburbs away, she is good and she is reasonably priced. So this day I went and she was on her own because the other lady was on a half day, should be no issue right? So here I am in a tank top and a g-string on this table legs all over the place and she has got her hot wax and is putting it in the kind of places where you really want someone giving it 100% focus as a little stray wax could put you in a world of pain and the phone would not stop ringing. Seriously what would normally take a maximum of 10 minutes took us 30. It was insane, she kept having to leave the room mid wax and I would lay there listening to her conversation on the phone or hearing her talking to the random that had walked in until she came back.

Eventually she gave up and brought the cordless with her and then I had the awesome experience of having her waxing between my legs whilst fielding phone calls, that was seriously bizarre, I mean I have heard of multi-tasking, but that is not something I want you to do whilst you are applying hot wax to my lady parts!

Then someone came in the front door again so she had to go out, I happened to look to the side and see the mirror they have there so you can check your wax before going out and paying in case there is anything you want them to fix and had to laugh at how ludicrous I looked. One leg up and out and one to the side, at some stage of mid wax (I wasn’t entirely sure where we were at so I didn’t want to put my legs together in case things then got stuck – Oh my god can you even imagine that!), pretty much bare enough to cause significant embarrassment if someone walked in, listening in to a conversation I shouldn’t have been dealing with before my morning coffee (apparently her bf was going to ditch her if she didn’t bald her beaver – I felt like screaming at her to dump him if he doesn’t return the favour and bald his balls!!) and apparently a bit of the cotton she had used had not made it to the bin and was stuck to my knee. I had a good giggle at myself and then realised how much we really bare to our beauticians, my beautician has seen more of my body than my doctor, she knows more about our house dramas than most of my friends, she knows and remembers the name of my Hubby and our nieces and nephews – some of my colleagues don’t even know I have any.

Isn’t that an incredible amount of trust? Not that I am saying it is a bad thing, I just had never thought about it before and was quite amazed to be honest.

Don’t worry, she didn’t leave me stranded, she came back and finished me up and apologised profusely throughout the entire thing. Funnily enough (even with Clomid going nuts) I wasn’t upset about it, because I knew that they had recently moved areas and that they were in a small collection of shops rather than a mall now and she was very ill with fluid on her lungs for a few weeks so she really needs the business. Then I realised I knew her well too. How interesting that both of us share so much of our lives with someone we see once every five weeks.

How much do you share with your beautician?

 


What has been seen…

So my friend and I decided we wanted to escape work at lunchtime and go boot shopping as well as grab some lunch. We tended to the boots first which was if I am honest only somewhat successful, because we have to go back when our sizes come in.

These are the boots I am looking at :) Sooo warm!

These are the boots I am looking at 🙂 Sooo warm!

After the boots were taken care of we bought some lunch and sat down to eat with a window seat and a nice view. I happened to look over at a couple a few seats away from us and froze as the male of the couple reached back and put his hand down the back of his pants, “yum, just what I want to see when eating” I said. Then he seemed to be fishing around and as we looked on in horror he pulled an umbrella out of his pants (it was one of those short umbrellas that would fit in a handbag/tote bag).

“What the fuck?” says I?

There are a couple of explanation for this event and I still haven’t decided whether;
a) we were delirious with hunger from boot shopping and therefore having hallucinations,
b) this really happened and that guys butt is apparently Mary Poppin’s bag,
c) we got pranked
d) all of the above

As completely bizarre as this whole experience was, it made me laugh so hard and still has me smiling hours later.

What do you think the answer is?


Pilates fail

I used to really enjoy Pilates, but haven’t been for a few years due to the issues with my ankle. Recently I thought about starting up again and today I found out that my local gym (which I get a deal on through my work) has a class on Tuesdays at 6.30pm and Saturdays at 8:15am. Mum has been interested in starting a healthy activity with me and has been doing Tai Chi/Yoga for seniors once a week, so tonight I asked her if she wanted to come to Pilates with me.

“What does Pilates entail?” she asked.

So I go to YouTube and look up a beginner Pilates video… it starts with a couple of minutes breathing, “I’m already bored” she said. Then the woman lays down and brings her knees up at a 90 degree angle from the ground, “well that’s me out, I can’t do that” said Mum.

So I looked for a beginner seniors video and we started watching that. We ended up in hysterics because the lady was doing all the same sort of things with oblique crunches and what not. Mum kept putting in gold nuggets like, “she expects seniors to do this? Are there assistants there somewhere to help us up and down?”, the funniest part were her expressions each time the moves got more complicated. Then the lady started saying things like, “you are doing great!” and “nice job!” to which I said,

“What a stupid comment to make. How does she know what we are doing? We are sitting here laughing at her with cups of tea. What if someone had broken their hip doing this and needed medical help and she is sitting there saying how great they are doing?” More giggling ensued.

When it was finished Mum said she would happily come along to Pilates and be my cheer squad, but no way was she participating 🙂 Imagining Mum at the side of the room with pom poms cheering and clapping every time I did a crunch had me dissolving into laughter once more. It didn’t even help that there is a Library attached to the gym hahaha.

Have you ever considered trying a new activity then found out what was involved and reconsidered your options?


Cauliflower fried “rice”

#trysomethingnew 🙂

I have wanted to try cauliflower fried “rice” for some time now, but there were a few deterrents. For starters there is a LOT of prep (chopping up etc.) and the other thing is my Dad and Hubster are not into cauliflower at all. So yesterday I got over that and decided I was doing it anyways. I paired it with chicken breast marinated in a smoky BBQ sauce.

After much chopping up of every vegie I thought would go well in the dish and putting the cauliflower through the food processor the cooking began.

I put a little bit of butter and garlic oil in the bottom of the pan to prevent sticking (plus garlic goes with everything 🙂 ) heated the pan then chucked in the vegies that take longer to cook like celery, capsicum, peas, onion, shallots. After a couple of minutes I added carrot and a bit of ham and some corn. After a couple of more minutes I added the cauliflower.

I made sure everything was well mixed then added a bit of soy sauce, in all there was maybe 2 tbsn, to be honest I think there was less than that, but I was doing it by taste not recipe. I don’t like a lot of soy in my fried rice so I wanted to be light on it 🙂 If you put too much it get bitter and salty really quickly.

rice

Because I did it by guesstimate I ended up with a LOT of it. As in we all ate a healthy serve of it and there is still enough for me to have at lunch today and for everyone to have seconds for dinner tonight also.

Everybody LOVED it. I waited until they gave their verdicts to tell them it was cauliflower, they seemed slightly surprised, but kept eating and saying it was great! Woohoo experiment success – and so much healthier for us than our home made fried rice (which was already pretty healthy apart from the rice hahaha).

Will definitely do again!

final product