I am apologising in advance for any snarky or sarcastic comments I make in my post. I am a little upset and scared about the outcomes of our appointment and it turns out that sarcasm is my go to dealing mechanism 🙂
Friday we went back to the fertility specialist, it was not fun and parts of it I got annoyed with. He wasn’t impressed that I stopped taking Eutroxsig instead of doing his suggestion of seeing a hair loss specialist. I explained that within 2 days of ceasing the medication my hair had stopped falling out and I had stopped sweating rivers and that by trying it this way I had saved myself over $350 that would have been spent needlessly because the hair loss was not because I am fat (which is basically he told me before). He still wasn’t impressed and told me he would give me a different medication to see how that goes, but that I really, really need to be on thyroid medication and that not taking could affect my fertility (apparently freaking everything I do or do not do affects it – who knew my reproductive system could be so finnicky).
He asked me how much weight I had lost and I said, “another 5kgs so 10kgs in total”. He said he wouldn’t count from before he started seeing me so I still needed to lose another 6-10kgs before IVF would be approved for me. WTF? That kinda made me feel like how hard I had worked to lose those 10kgs didn’t matter at all! He just wove them off like they were never there. Rude skinny man, he obviously has no idea the torture of trying to be healthy and lose weight when you have PCOS, Insulin Resistance and thyroid problems, how insensitive and douchy! Before we got married (pre-diagnosis) I went to the gym at least 3 days a week for cardio and weights, Zumba 2 days a week, pilates 1-2 days a week, I ate EXTREMELY well and as the due date got closer I actually ended up going to a shake diet because I just was not losing any more weight… in the end I could only just dip below the 100kgs mark… with all of that work I still couldn’t get smaller than that. That is seriously de-motivating. Meanwhile in the couple of months since we had seen him Hubby had ONE piece of homework… to go and get a blood test done and he never did it. The damn Doctor didn’t even mention it. I brought up whether there was more we could do to help his sperm and Doc says, “oh he has 3% normal, so that should be okay”.
Then comes the fun part, he wants me to have laparoscopic ovarian drilling, he seems to think that I have endometriosis even though we have found no trace of it on scans and I don’t have symptoms. He seems to believe that it could be significant basically because he has no other excuse for why we are not pregnant after over 3 years of trying. I asked about checking for tube blockages and he said they can do that at the same time because then I will be knocked out for it – which to be honest is kinda nice because I wasn’t looking forward to that test.
The problem isn’t ovulation because I am ovulating which is why I was confused at first because he just said, “we are going to move forward with ovarian drilling” and I was like, well hang in there buddy, why are we drilling for oil when it’s coming out of the ground of its own accord? But apparently he suspects endo and feels that even though I am ovulating perhaps the endo is creating a hostile environment for fertilisation or some crap. I have done a bit of reading on the process since and a bunch of the stuff (even the pamphlets he gave me) all say it is to start ovulation in women with PCOS who do not respond to medications. If I have endo and it gets rid of it I suppose I have to do it right?
The only time I have been admitted to hospital was to have my wisdom teeth removed and I had a panic attack just before being wheeled in. You guys I am totally freaking out. Hubby and Mum are all, it’s nothing, just keyhole surgery, we both had out appendix and gall bladders removed and we are fine. I get this and I know that there is a very low risk, but Jesus, they are going to be burning off parts of my freaking ovaries… thems the baby egg makers.
If any of you have been through this surgery I could really use some positive stories that have come from it.
I also have to still lose that weight so I am thinking I will have to get super strict and serious, I might have to develop my own challenge around this so I can make it work. I got the other medication last night too and started taking it this morning, early days, but I will let you know if I need to raise wig money 🙂
June 29th, 2015 at 1:14 pm
Aw hell, this dr sounds like he has no idea what he’s doing. Can you get a second opinion before you do surgery?
June 29th, 2015 at 1:42 pm
When he talked the statistics and everything he seemed very knowledgable and it all made sense. I have been thinking about a second opinion, but knowing the way docs work the second opinion will start from the beginning again and we don’t really have the time or cash to do that.
The surgery is exploratory so if they get in there and there is no endo they will check for tube blockages and that will be all they do. If they do find endo then they can treat it then and there.
I am just a wuss when it comes to procedures where I am knocked out, for some reason the idea of lost time where I have no control over my body scares the crap out of me.
June 29th, 2015 at 1:19 pm
So, it doesn’t sound like you love your doctor which is unfortunate. It just doesn’t sound to me like he was interested in talking to you about options or your weight loss (by the way I think 10kg total loss is pretty awesome!). I have no advice about the surgery but I am wondering Is there any way you can get a second opinion?
June 29th, 2015 at 1:47 pm
Yeah there is no love there, he seems capable and straight forward, but I don’t love him.
He said we could lose more weight and go to IVF which would give us a good chance, but if I have endo then it could also effect the uterus and prevent implantation and there is a great chance of miscarriage. So I am thinking that considering everything we will have to go through for IVF doing the drilling first is probably a good plan. He has left it up to us, we have to come back in 6 weeks with a decision as to what we want to do. Hubby said to me, “would you do anything to have our own biological baby?” I said, “within reason, yeah”, he said, “well is there really a choice then?” and to be honest I guess there isn’t. Doesn’t stop me being freaked out though.
I have been thinking of a second opinion, but the next doc would start from scratch again and I don’t think we have the time or money for that unfortunately.
June 30th, 2015 at 3:34 am
I totally respect the fact that starting from scratch again is both a waste of time and money! It really sounds like you and your hubby have thought everything through and are good with the action plan, and honestly that’s all that matters! Wishing you the best and sending you lots and lots of love! 🙂
June 30th, 2015 at 10:45 am
Thank you 🙂
I think being able to talk to you guys and having such great support from my Hubby and being able to talk to him openly about this stuff is a real help 🙂
June 29th, 2015 at 1:56 pm
You poor love! I have no experience with any of this I’m afraid, sending positive vibes your way xo
June 29th, 2015 at 2:56 pm
Thank you 🙂 I can use all the postive vibes I can get 🙂
June 29th, 2015 at 3:07 pm
Oh man what a dipshit that guy is. Needs a serious review of his bedside manner.
Ok how can I help…well I haven’t had ovarian drilling but I have had the keyhole surgery to look for endo when I didn’t have any symptoms and THEY FOUND ENDO. Apparently this is a thing. Do you follow To the Sky and Back? As she just had the same surgery and they found Stage 3 endo for her – no symptoms again. I think the “symptom” is actually sometimes infertility. They did a tube flush at the same time too and I had a kinky tube – no sign of that either. So you never really know what is going on in there. I highly recommend the surgery.
I have had loads and loads of ops hey and I have survived every one of them. I always go in thinking that they know what they are doing and I just need to trust them. It doesn’t mean I’m not nervous but I just try to play that side down and focus on what I do know. The odds of something bad happening are probably lower than me getting hit by a car crossing the road – seriously. Also, when they dare doing all the pre-op stuff, TELL them that you are scared. They will do everything they can to make you comfortable if they know. The nursing staff are fabulous.
As for PCOS I have heard that it can be hard to lose weight and that there are certain foods that you should target to help. Don’t starve yourself! You can lose weight with the right combo of foods I’m sure.
Also have you seen a naturopath before? Some supplements are really helpful for thyroid and they can probably work with you to treat your thyroid in combination with your PCOS etc. I hope this all helps!!!
June 29th, 2015 at 3:08 pm
Oh and I meant to say maybe just google foods to help lose weight with PCOS or something.
June 30th, 2015 at 9:48 am
You give such awesome advice. Thanks for sharing too, it definitely made me feel better 🙂 Especially knowing that the exploratory really works.
I’ll definitely be doing the op. I think I just needed time to I don’t know gather more information, inform myself more and ask for some know how from you guys 🙂
No I don’t follow her, I will look her up 🙂
I haven’t been to a naturopath, I was thinking of looking for a nutritionist. A friend of mine is both, but she lives far away, she was the one that put me onto the supplements I am on now and they have been great 🙂
June 30th, 2015 at 2:52 pm
It’s always good to stay informed. We need to feel comfortable with what we are putting our poor old bodies through. I’m sure a great nutritionist could help you too. One of those types will do. It’s just finding the right one. 🙂
June 30th, 2015 at 3:27 pm
I know, finding a good one is half the battle hahaha.
June 30th, 2015 at 2:03 pm
Can you send me the link to “To the Sky and Back”?
June 30th, 2015 at 2:50 pm
June 30th, 2015 at 3:26 pm
June 30th, 2015 at 2:52 am
I was thinking the same thing as previous comments, I would try to get a second opinion. Something doesn’t seem right. I was checked laparoscopically for endo back in like 2000 or so? But nothing with drilling. If he just wants to see if you have endo he can check just by doing a laparoscopy to explore. It’s visible. Like seriously visible. The lap itself wasn’t bad at all, I didn’t have any issues with it. But I still say if you can find another dr you should. It may mean starting over, but they could have better, more accurate answers. Definitely thinking about ya hun!
June 30th, 2015 at 10:44 am
Thanks. I think the idea is that the surgery is exploratory, but if they find something then they are ready to act to treat it there and then. He gave me three quotes, one for if there’s nothing there, one for if they find mild endo and one for if they find severe endo.
Thinking about it after I did a LOT of reading last night I think this is probably the better option because then if they find it and treat it straight away I don’t have to worry about needing another surgery for treatment.
I think the problem is that he is not very good at explaining things, he seems to have a very linear mind and when I ask him questions I am jumping around and it takes him time to get his answer together.
June 30th, 2015 at 10:53 am
Well if it’s intended to be exploratory and not just jumping to a treatment that may do more harm than good, then I suppose it would be ok. I would think he would know by now if you had endo though, it has pretty set symptoms. You’d think that would’ve been one of the first things they’d check for. Where I had been checked before and wasn’t showing symptoms, thankfully they didn’t want to check again. Always hoping for you 🙂 don’t give up hope!
June 30th, 2015 at 11:47 am
Thank you! They haven’t done an exploratory surgery yet though to check from the inside for me I don’t know why it wasn’t suggested earlier, but better late than never I suppose. If they find any endo then hopefully they can deal with it straight away 🙂
Thank you 🙂
June 30th, 2015 at 11:11 pm
I’d be upset too, and looking for a new Dr. He doesn’t sound like he either cares or knows what he’s talking about. I’m right there with you on the weight too. He said if I gain even a pound, my cycle will be cancelled. Ugh! Here’s to our weight loss journey together!
July 2nd, 2015 at 2:25 pm
Yes, here’s to us 🙂 We can do it.
I think he knows what he is talking about, but isn’t good at expressing it. Bedside manner isn’t the greatest I guess you would say. I can see reason for the surgery now so I will go ahead with that, but then we will see, if they find nothing then I don’t know what we will do.
June 30th, 2015 at 11:59 pm
Hi! As Emily said above, I just had a laparoscopy and they did find a bunch of endo. I highly recommend exploratory surgery. For me, the recovery was pretty rough, but I think that’s because my doctor posed it as No Big Deal, so I wasn’t expecting much. He said to take four days off of work, but I would recommend seven. I think my recovery might also be worse because they found a lot of endo. That said, I did survive it! And like others have said, the chance of something going wrong during the procedure are so slim. I listened to this meditation a bunch in the days before surgery, and I really think that helped relax me and make me feel more confident about everything.
I just want to second what everyone else said above about getting a second opinion. You won’t have to start from scratch. If you decide to go to the new place, you would just transfer your records over, and then they will have all of your previous tests and you won’t have to repeat them. Also, for a second opinion consult, you are not committing yourself to anything, you’re just hearing what they have to say. I found second opinions to be invaluable in my experience. I’ve switched doctor’s twice, and each time I’ve been so glad I did. If you’re not seeing your doctor again for six weeks, that should give you plenty of time to get a consult with someone else. If I’ve learned anything on this journey it’s go with your gut. And it seems from above that your gut is saying this doctor might not be a perfect fit for you! Just my two cents — obviously you should do what makes you the most comfortable and happy!
July 2nd, 2015 at 2:27 pm
Thank you for commenting and sharing your story. Both you and Emily have made me feel a lot better about the surgery. Everyone has made me feel better really.
I’m sorry you found the recovery so rough, that is awful. I was already sort of thinking that I might aim for at least a week off, your comment has made me solidify that in my mind hahaha.
July 1st, 2015 at 7:52 am
This guy sounds like a dick. But then my fertility specialist is seriously challenged in the bedside manner department, too. However, he knows his stuff and has years of experience. As my other half says, he’d prefer someone who was a bit abrupt but competent vs someone friendly and wooly that didn’t know their stuff… Maybe it’s one of those- if you feel confident in his abilities, perhaps just let it be?? I KNOW it shouldn’t have to be like that though!
Weight-wise, 10kg is amazing! Even if he doesn’t congratulate you, we will! Nobody that hasn’t tried losing hormone-induced weight knows the battle to lose it. Controlling your thyroid will def help though. Best of luck x
July 2nd, 2015 at 2:32 pm
Thanks for commenting and the congratulations. It was hard to lose that much and it has taken me a LONG time, but in saying that… none of it has gone back on 🙂
I think he fits into the knows his stuff, but not great with people box and I agree with what your other half says so I think I will do the surgery and then go from there based on the results 🙂
July 2nd, 2015 at 11:11 am
Kudos for losing so much weight! I know that with pcos AND thyroid problems, that was quite a challenge!
I just had my pre-op today for ovarian drilling. I have PCOS and am NOT ovulating, despite four rounds of Clomid (and some ultrasounds to monitor my progress). My doctor spoke with me today about all the procedures he’s including in this one anesthesia. Hysteroscope and D&C (look around the uterus and scrape lining to be sure there are no polyps or anything that might cause a problem), laproscopy and dye (look around the abdomen for endometriosis- although I have no symptoms, it could surface as a problem later- and running dye through my tubes to make sure they’re good) and ovarian drilling (to kill the cysts on the ovaries that are keeping me from ovulating). I’m not sure why your doctor would push for ovarian drilling instead of just a laproscopy and dye, but I’m no doctor.
I go in July 7th for surgery, and I’m hopeful this will help fix my problems.
July 2nd, 2015 at 2:38 pm
Thank you so much. It was hard, I’ve still got weight I want to lose, but slow and steady is okay I think 🙂
It’s good that the doc is checking everything he possibly can in the one surgery, I hope they figure out what is going on for you.
I have no symptoms of Endo either, but then there are quite a few people I know of that never had symptoms and have quite bad endo. Even two of the other ladies who commented mentioned this. I’m of the ‘better safe than sorry’ mindset 🙂
I hope everything goes perfectly smoothly for you with your op!
July 3rd, 2015 at 5:13 am
Oh sweets… that is an awful experience! I am happy to help you with the slow and steady weight loss. I run free healthy eating groups where I can provide the meal plan and recipes etc. We all eat from the same plan and support each other along the way. Drop me an email if you like. My blog can be seen at thinittowinit2015.wordpress.com
July 3rd, 2015 at 1:44 pm
Thank you and thanks for commenting. Wow that is awesome, I am going to check out your blog right now 🙂
July 4th, 2016 at 4:24 pm
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