[Fair warning: sweary honesty may follow]
It has been awhile since I have talked about our fertility or lack there of. In fact I don’t believe I have even mentioned it since the beginning of the year.
Basically after the fail in December we were in a bad place emotionally, we were low on funds and we were both in really stressful places with our jobs. It was all crap people! So we decided to talk some time off. My anxiety has been a bit all over the place this year. I have high functioning anxiety which means people at work think I am great and then when I get home I crawl into a shell and read a book or watch TV to bring myself down from the day. It’s my process, but it was getting to the point where often I had nothing left in the tank when I got home and couldn’t even get my shit together enough to cook a decent dinner. Way too many potato gem dinners later (how good are they though!) and adding in sporadic depression related eating tendancies and an expanding waistline I felt totally out of control (not good for either condition) and wanted to take steps to rectify it.
Step one – Fertility treatment
I got our medical records from the fertility place we were at to pour over them looking for anything that could have been missed. We have been trying for 5.5 years and no one seems to know why we are not pregnant. When I got them we noticed that it was marked “male factor infertility” umm WTF? Turns out that the initial sperm test in 2014 recommended immediate IVF with ICSI and stated there was little chance of a natural pregnancy – we were then made to try naturally for 2 years, one cycle with Clomid. This new information combined with the fact that a counselor never called after our last failure when I was clearly in absolute sobbing pieces to the nurse on the phone, the fact that the FS suggested an ovarian drilling operation that he had done just 4 months earlier (clearly not overly interested in us to the point where he had not even read our file before we cam in for our appointment) and the fact that I felt fat shamed after almost every appointment made us realise he was not the person for us. There was also a few teary hours and sadness over the fact we wasted two years and a shitload of money on this person.
So I took to some Facebook groups and asked for recommendations. Many of them came back recommending Monash IVF, I looked into it and some of their FS’s even consulted locally (for full treatments we would have to go into a city though). From the first appointment I was happier. She re-ran many of the tests, was quite thorough, Hubby’s sperm has improved. The only thing she mentioned weight wise was to concentrate on eating habits and to ensure my activity each week included 3 x 30mins of anything that makes me sweat that I enjoy which I thought was pretty okay. When she realised where we came from she told the receptionist to book as many appointments as possible local to us as it was silly to have us come all the way in. The second meeting we had with her she made a 3 month plan for us. We are doing Ovulation Induction for one month (we have started this now), if this does not work we are doing an IUI for one month, if this does not work we are meeting again in October to then move immediately to IVF. She doesn’t want to waste time or money which is so great. Then it turns out IVF is cheaper through this company even though their reputation is as good as the other place we went through so we can afford more rounds.
Final nail in the coffin for the old FS was when she gave us the Gonal F script I said to Hubby we would have to find a way to make it in to a place 30mins away to get it that afternoon, she asked why we would go there and I said because the other FS had said it was the only pharmacy that would stock fertility medication in our area. She said that was ridiculous and incorrect and recommended we call Chemist Warehouse (1 block from my work) – she was right – they were amazing and had it for me the very next day! I was SO F*#@ING MAD at the other FS. They gave us no option as they sent our scripts directly to that pharmacy, obviously they get a kick back from using them. We had to do all sorts of running around and leaving work early (using leave time or making up hours) to get our stuff from that pharmacy. HOW RUDE! I just couldn’t even.
Anyway… Hubby and I have talked about it and how mad we are. We are both very glad that we have moved on. I know people have got their miracles from the other FS and if we had we probably wouldn’t be as upset about these things, but damn it is a hard pill to swallow. So now we are going to move beyond our madness, I like this lady FS much more. I think she actually knows what it is like to have to watch everything you eat. We have decided to shed our bad experiences and concentrate on the positive journey we believe is ahead of us with this lady. I really liked that she asked both of us where we wanted our journey to go next and then gave us her opinion of what she would like to try, but then the ultimate plan of what we would do was made all together.
For anyone out there afraid to shop around, just don’t be. If you have any doubts or just want a second opinion on whether there should be anything else you should be testing just do it. Your current FS doesn’t even have to know you have done it. Try thinking of your FS as your employee, this really worked for me and it is accurate, you are paying them to provide you with a service.
I think step one has provided plenty of information so I will leave it here and work on step two another day 🙂
How are your journeys going?
August 22nd, 2017 at 11:51 am
Yikes, what a mess!! I’m so sorry the last Dr was crap, but I’m so happy you moved on and found someone who seems great. I hope she helps you reach your goals. I just don’t understand how they had marked in your paperwork about the male factor but nobody ever told you that! Ugh. Good that you can put it behind you and move on with someone better. I hate shopping around for Drs, and I’m so beyond thankful that I’ve at least had good ones for my IF stuff. Others, not so much, but at least for the expensive and important stuff I have a team I can count on lol!!
August 24th, 2017 at 2:45 pm
I don’t know either. We asked about it because that was why we were initially sent there, but he said the levels were fine.
When we retested his levels are fine anyway, but our new FS doesn’t want to waste anytime trying naturally (without some help) because she knows that it has been at least 5 years of timing sex hell and she wants us to move on from all that as quickly as possible.
I am really hoping she is the one for us! I can always get fake teeth if a dentist screws up, but fake babies just aren’t the same 🙂
August 22nd, 2017 at 7:01 pm
Oh my that first FS sounds so awful. You know, the FS who saved me and got me my babe was with Monash. I hope you get as good a result from them 😃
So nice to read an update from you. It sounds like a tough few months but you seem to be on a much better place now x
August 24th, 2017 at 2:56 pm
So far (even with a little medication hiccup) I am really liking Monash so far. Most of the bloods and scans I can get done before work just a few blocks from my office which is incredible.
It has been a rough few months. I think Hubby being in a better place has made a lot of difference, there have been some big changes for him at work and he seems a lot happier. We have also been making effort to really make time for each other and spend time doing things even if it is preparing dinner and then some cleaning up. We have recently started playing a game where you both log in to a world as you sit side by side and you start with one tree and from that you have to build a world. It allows us a few hours every time we play it to chat and catch up and chill which is great 🙂
Hope you are doing okay! xx
August 24th, 2017 at 8:22 pm
That’s super awesome. Yay! Really happy for you lovely. We are all good. Usual life stresses but nothing too hideous x
August 25th, 2017 at 12:19 pm
Haha “nothing too hideous” LOL. Such a perfect way to describe life sometimes 🙂
August 22nd, 2017 at 9:11 pm
Sorry to hear about that first experience, and those anxiety-filled months. All the best of luck with your current FS, glad to read that you’re doing a lot better 🙂 xx
August 24th, 2017 at 2:56 pm
Thanks so much x
You really do learn from experience!
August 23rd, 2017 at 11:00 am
Wow!! I am so sorry! I am glad you found this new FS though. Good luck!
August 24th, 2017 at 3:00 pm
Thank you. We certainly learned from the experience and I feel a lot more comfortable with the lady we are seeing now (so far haha) so let’s see what happens 🙂
August 23rd, 2017 at 11:31 pm
That really sucks that your old FS did that
August 24th, 2017 at 3:01 pm
Yeah it did. Thanks 🙂 Hopefully that will be our last negative experience doctor wise 🙂
August 24th, 2017 at 11:30 pm
Wow I would be so angry at the FS at your old place too! Could you give them a bad review online? The FS at your new clinic sounds so much better! So glad to hear your first appointment went well and you are both feeling positive again towards future steps. Changing clinic can make such a difference.
After our third failed IVF (also in December), we decided to change clinic. The new place was much further away but we had heard really good things about it. Our new doctor was so much nicer. Anyway something they did there seems to have done the trick as I’m now 13 weeks pregnant! I really hope you will get your miracle soon too! xx
August 25th, 2017 at 12:25 pm
OMG that is AMAZING!!! How did I not know this?! (…went to check my RSS feed, somehow you weren’t on there. Have now subscribed via email!) Congratulations! How exciting! Will binge read your blog as soon as I get a chance (plus I saw a pic of Jon Snow and who doesn’t want to read a post with a pic of him in it 🙂 )
I am really hoping that this change is a positive one for us!
I did put through a review, wasn’t scathing, but wasn’t hugely positive. Each day I feel myself move away from that. I know as soon as I get a BFP none of it will matter anyway so I am trying to concentrate on that moving forward 🙂
Seriously having a real life happy smiles moment for you 🙂 xx
August 25th, 2017 at 7:45 pm
Aw thanks so much!! I really hope my story will give hope to others still trying. I honestly had starting thinking we were a ‘lost case’ and it would never happen! Changing clinics can really make such a difference. Even trying different hormones etc because every woman responds differently. I’ll be following along and sending prayers your way xx
August 26th, 2017 at 2:19 pm
Thanks! Definitely gives me hope 🙂