Tag Archives: Personal

The Two Week Wait

*Warning: It’s going to be sweary people.

The two week wait (or TWW) is a bitch! It seriously messes with your head. Have you ever noticed every single little involuntary muscle movement and slight cramping or discomfort your body has? Ever been completely aware of the sensitivity of your whole body particularly your sense of smell, stability of your stomache and the feel of your breasts? This is just the start of what we women go through during the TWW.

And who the hell made pregnancy symptoms so similar to period symptoms? It’s like they spent all this time designing and developing this amazing reproductive system and then at the 11th hour it was like…

Tech one: Everyone we are officially out of time! Amazing work everyone, just put on the finishing touches and we will send it to be integrated into the body matrix.
Tech two: But… I haven’t coded the period symptom and menstrual phases yet…
Tech one: Shit bro, seriously?! Goddammit Mike, you had ONE job! Okay just copy paste the pregnancy symptoms and ramp up the cramps and nausea during the actual menstrual phase.

I mean please…

Symptom: Tender or swollen breasts = period or pregnant
Symptom: Nausea with or without vomiting = period or pregnant
Symptom: Food aversions or cravings = period or pregnant
Symptom: Headaches = period or pregnant
Symptom: Fatigue = period or pregnant
Symptom: Slight bleeding or cramping = period or pregnant
Symptom: Mood swings = period or pregnant
Symptom: Constipation = period or pregnant

That’s just the main ones… not to mention… no symptoms = period or pregnant. So frustrating.

So here we are, women who so very much want children that we put ourselves through needles (would you believe that the thought of just drawing blood used to give me serious anxiety before all this started!!) and prodding and poking and invasive procedures and crazy ass hormones just for the slight hope of peeing on a stick and being rewarded with 2 lines instead of one.

The fact that we want a child that much alone puts you in a desperate and hopeful head space, then you add on top all the hormones and pressure of daily life and age and whatnot and it’s just a fucking boiling pot of emotions and anxiety and crap.

To quote J.K. Rowling…

Theyd explode

…but we do… and so much more. I tried to explain to my husband the other day the thought process I went through in a couple of seconds to get from the topic we were talking about to the question I asked him a few seconds later which seemed completely unrelated. I explained how I got there and he was like, “How? It was like 3 seconds? How did you think all that in that time?!”

I was pretty confident initially that the ovulation induction round would not work. To me it was only a slight step above assisted natural conception (i.e. the timed sex we have been doing for 5.5 years among Clomid and IVF) and to me even though both FS’s have said there is no reason for us not to conceive naturally it’s just not happening. So I sort of felt that the new FS was mostly ticking boxes with this.

That doesn’t mean that I didn’t want it to work with every fibre of my being and soul. That with each passing day my hope didn’t grow until it was this amazing cushy marshmallow of hope and goodness. Then AF came and it was like a butane torch to my marshmallow. I watched it crisp, burn and melt away… didn’t even get a fucking smore out of it.

So now… on to IUI

Just keep swimming!

 

 

 

 

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Standing on my soapbox

So I was trawling around the web this morning and came across two things that bugged me. The first was this video:

I have to say I loved how this dude talked about it. I have never actually seen either show before, but he is completely right about the double standard it is apparently not at all a moral issue that she welcomed half naked strippers onto her set that she then kissed, but it is a moral issue for two men to kiss on television. This woman has issues, honestly I have no problem with either, although to be fair I do not know when her show airs – if it airs at a time where young children are watching then I do have an issue with them parading strippers around because I find that kind of blatant sexual imagery unnecessary on general programming that children watch.

Here is what I have an issue with… did this man do a brave thing? Yes, he did and in my opinion that is the problem! I believe there is something seriously wrong in our society when in order for this man to speaking openly about his sexuality he had to be brave.

Then I saw this video:

I made it to 4 mins, honestly I wanted to turn it off way earlier than that, but I persisted… until I saw the ignorant bigot couple that popped up around 3:45, I got so upset I stopped the video. Prior to posting it I have now watched the entire thing and I did find a beautiful beacon of hope in there at the end, all the other people in this video need to be sent to tolerance school!

Please do not take this post as a stance against faith; I think faith is an amazing thing to have. Faith is beautiful, it is belief, it is love and it is hope. However, I believe there is a huge difference between someone who has faith and someone who has religion. Some people use religion as a shield to hide behind in an attempt to hide their discriminations, this is not acceptable, you cannot blame religion for making you a bigot, that’s just not fair and it’s not right. It is actually incredibly offensive to those that do have faith to see people twist the messages of love, support and acceptance that having faith should provide.

This debate is not something I usually talk about because my opinions aren’t others and I don’t like people preaching at me about what the bible says. I know what the bible says guys; I went to a Catholic school… I’ve read it. But the bible says a lot of kinda crazy things that pretty much everyone ignores; how about don’t cut your hair or beard? Or, no eating or touching pig carcasses? No tattoos, no divorce, no braids, no gold, no pearls, no shellfish… the list goes on. Unfortunately with Tony Abbott now in “power” in Australia this is a conversation that is in everyone’s face almost daily… so here is my 2 cents worth… this is what I believe:

I believe every human on Earth has the right to love, they have a right to happiness and as long as they are not hurting others in the process (to be clear I mean going all crazy stalker) they should be allowed to revel in that love peacefully.

There is so much hate and hurt in our world already… why as a species are we so insistent on adding to it?


Thank you Mr. T.

Queen Latifah:
And the winner of the 2014 Grammy for Best New Artist goes to… CatT.

The audience goes wild and my music fills the theatre as I throw my arms around my Hubby for a massive smooch and then make my way to the stage. Naturally I pause along the way to high five Adam Lambert and pound fists with Dan Reynolds. I make it to the stage and by some miracle do not stage a re-enactment of Jennifer Lawrence’s Oscar fall, I embrace and pay homage to the amazing Queen Latifah and accept my amazing award. I turn to the mic and clear my throat whilst trying to subtlety wipe away tears of joy.

Oh Jen, you fall so gracefully :)

Oh Jen, you fall so gracefully 🙂

Me:
Wow! Thank you. This moment… means more than I could ever convey in one acceptance speech.

I came here tonight fully prepared to bow down to any one of the amazing and talented nominees as they won this title; don’t worry I am not suggesting you need to bow to me. The thing is, no matter how hard we push and work and pour sweat, blood and tears into our work, at no point will you ever sit there and go… yeah, I got this in the bag… come at me Grammy. As one of the nominees for this award tonight I found myself in such esteemed company and I wish to thank each one of you for the amazing contributions you make to this industry.

I must also thank Universal Music Australia for taking a chance on an unknown artist from South-West Sydney, for believing in me, for hearing me and my music and helping me translate who I am for all the world to hear. Thank you for fine tuning me because God knows I needed it.  

To my fans, without you there is no way I could be here. Thank you for sharing this journey with me and for seeing something in my music that you love. I hope you continue to be touched by my music and I will do all that I can to keep this train going.

Mum & Dad… thank you for letting me play music too loud and for not yelling at me when I then sung over my too loud music with my even louder voice. Thank you for inspiring me creatively. Mum, thank you for always being my editor and grammar Nazi, you are my guiding light.

Mr. T. … Thank you for being who you are, thank you for being my soul mate and for keeping me laughing for the past seven years. Thank you for encouraging me to sing and not being afraid to tell me when I was flat, thank you for letting me listen to any genre I want and for letting me play Adam Lambert’s music in the car really loud… thank you for learning the words so you could sing along too 🙂 Thank you for missing me singing around the house when I go away, thank you for missing it so much you learned every Adele song so you could sing them to stop yourself being lonely without me. Thank you for loving me, thank you for being my best friend and always being there, thank you for your support. I know you are happy sitting down there right now… really happy, because we are married… and being married means half of this award is yours. Congratulations on your Grammy baby 🙂

Thank you all.

 Inspired by the Daily Prompt


Pride & Joy: Fur baby family

What is your most prized possession?

This was a challenge issued by daily post and it really made me think, my instinct when thinking about my pride and joy was to say family, but I do not really consider my family a possession. Google dictionary defines possession as the following:

  1. the state of having, owning, or controlling something.
  2. something that is owned or possessed.
  3. the state of being controlled by a demon or spirit.

We’ll just ignore that 3rd one completely as I am pretty sure no one has ever expressed pride or joy for demon possession – although I must say a novel titled, ‘My favourite demon possession’ would be an interesting read.

She looks happy... right?!?!

She looks happy… right?!?!

So what possession or thing that I have actual ownership of is my pride and joy? Well, whilst I think of my dogs as part of the family I do technically “own” them so I would have to say my fur babies 🙂

I have always wanted a dog, I asked Santa for a puppy for many, many years, but unfortunately he somehow knew my parents didn’t want one so my puppy was never under the Christmas tree come Christmas morning. One of my driving forces for becoming independent was so I could move out of my parent’s house in order to get a dog.

 

Molly

Miss Molly

Miss Molly

I quickly decided that I didn’t want a puppy from a breeder or a pet shop; I wanted to get my new companion from a shelter. So onto the interwebs I went (this was almost 10 years ago now so everything was far clunkier than it is now) and after looking at a few different websites I found Renbury Farm http://www.renbury.com.au/ or https://www.facebook.com/RenburyFarm  I saw a 7 month old pup on the site that caught my eye and went to visit the very next day. When I located the dog I had seen on the internet we didn’t really click, the dog was incredibly excitable and just didn’t feel right (it also barked the entire time I was there with my brother and I didn’t think that would go well with the neighbours).

I decided to look around at the other dogs as there were many more onsite than there were on the website, we played with a few, but none of them felt like the right one for me, then I saw this little bundle of white fur hiding in the corner of a pen – I couldn’t even tell what kind of dog it was because it was trying to make itself look as small as possible. The lady from the shelter said she was 6 months and had been found on the side of the road with rope around her neck, she was petrified of people, especially men so my brother shouldn’t go in the pen, she would likely wee on me if I picked her up, but I was welcome to go in to get a better look at her. In I went and after some coaxing I picked her up (with the blanket underneath her just in case) she cuddled straight in under my neck and I knew I had found my companion. She was a 6 month old Chihuahua X Mini Foxy (Chi’s are not a breed I usually take to) and she was perfect.

It took many months of work, but she became a happy go lucky dog who loves men and women equally and will cavort and rub against your legs begging for a pat (or a treat). She is very well behaved and adores nothing better than a snuggle on a cold day. I have had 9 years of amazing joy and companionship with her and she is my pride and joy.

 

Sam

Sammy

Sammy

The only problem that lingered on for a long time with Molly was separation anxiety, I managed to work through every other issue she had, but if I went away for a weekend or something she would freak out after a few hours and stop eating and drinking and claw at the front door to try and get out and find me. She would also scratch at herself until her hair fell out and her skin bled.

We found a kitten who seemed very lost, but well taken care of (very healthy) so we decided to drop it to our local pound to see if it was micro chipped so the owner could be found. When we left an older woman stopped me in the car park and handed me this fluff ball begging me to take him in for her because she couldn’t do it herself. Apparently it was her neighbours pup and they didn’t want him because they were never home, he chewed everything and he was sick all the time. He was a Pomeranian and I have friends who are breeders so we took him home – he had been owned by an immigrant Cambodian family who had been feeding him their own food so he was very skinny – at 12 months old he weighed 1.2kgs. So we knew he needed vet attention fast.

After a few hours at our home Molly and Sam were inseparable, when I took him to the vet the next morning she wandered around the house whimpering and moping until I brought him home. I went to work and came home to find Sam curled up on the couch beneath my Hubby’s chin and Molly curled up behind his knees – all asleep. It was then I knew we had just adopted another dog 🙂

Sam turned out to have one of the most gorgeous dispositions of any dog I have met, he is a total Mummy’s boy and will trot around the yard after me and happily sit there with my whilst I weed or put out washing. He and Molly cavort and roll around the yard – I truly believe they both think they are much bigger than they are the way they roughhouse sometimes.

 

Thinking back on how these two crazy lovable furballs came into my life I feel very lucky, if I had have gone to Renbury one day earlier I wouldn’t have met Molly and if we hadn’t have found that Kitten and decided to take it to the pound at that exact time we wouldn’t have met Sam. Sometimes life just works out perfectly 🙂


Finding myself in the Red Centre

Recently I read a piece called “The top 10 tips I’ve learned from minimalists”  on the blog The ExtraOrdinary Simple Life by Lara Blair. This post discussed how to find the parts of a minimalist lifestyle that work for you and provided some great tips on putting them into practice.

After having a comments discussion with the author regarding single socks and their attack on the minimalist lifestyle and the zen of the human race in general (it made complete sense to us and I may blog about it at a later date) I discovered a comment written by All thoughts work outdoors, part of which really struck a chord with me. The paragraph that particularly caught my eye was as follows:

“I found that a simple, yet very powerful tool for decluttering is to reevaluate one’s social life. A lot of people hang onto stuff because they wanna be prepared for any social situation, be acceptable to anybody and everybody who will judge them. But when you get hard-core-honest about who you really want to spend your life on, you’ll find it’s the ones who don’t give a rat’s ass if you have festive holiday napkins or the right hemline”. – All thought work outdoors, 2014

I loved this comment! I absolutely remember being this way, wanting to be acceptable to all, be a pleaser, I somehow believed that being part of the pack and being accepted and acceptable was vital to being happy. What the hell was I thinking?! How much time and energy I wasted being this way is quite scary to think about. When I was 18 I even drank the same drinks as my friends because lolly water alcoholic drinks were so in, they tasted like Bertie Botts’s every flavour beans, but they were in so I had to like them.

My wakeup call came when I moved to Ayers Rock at the age of 19, for those who haven’t been let me tell you, it’s hot, it’s arid, there is red sand everywhere and pretty much everything about it is not conducive to wearing make-up and sexy dresses. Basically it is about trying to stay comfortable and always being prepared for a sand storm and visits from unexpected wildlife 🙂 It was fabulous and I loved it! I learned so much and I met amazing people from all corners of the Earth and all walks of life, it was a completely unique experience that I value so much. Though I didn’t realise it at the time I now believe having this experience at that age really played a part in shaping who I am today.

While I was living at the Rock at one point I had 3 jobs, I worked full time as an all-rounder for a tourism company (which pretty much means you need to be able to do anything), I was a guide on sunset champagne tours a couple of times a week and I ran Karaoke once a week. I didn’t feel overworked because we had so much play time as well, I explored all the amazing things the Red Centre had to offer, there were many times that I truly felt like I was being paid to be permanently on vacation.

When I moved back to Sydney at 21 I really didn’t understand the friends I had from High School anymore; I didn’t get wearing teeny tiny dresses to go out in 15 degree weather, I didn’t understand them wearing more make-up in one night than I saw in 2 years at the rock and I really didn’t understand these women I knew to be very intelligent giggling and flipping their hair in an effort to get male attention.

Did I feel out of place? Yup. Did I feel like the odd girl out because when I went out I mostly wore nice jeans, a pretty top and flats? Absolutely. Was I always on the outer edge of conversations with my old bosom buddy friends from school because I didn’t relate easily to them anymore? Hell yes! The above coupled with the fact that my grandfather passed away not long after I moved back had me in a pretty dark place; I would try to talk to my friends about how I felt about his passing and found that they just didn’t get it. None of them came to the funeral to support me and after a while I started getting comments like, “are you still sad?” (I don’t blame them for this really as I came to the realisation that none of them had dealt with the death of a loved one).

So I trudged along, I still went out with the group, due to the alcohol education I had received living at the Rock I no longer drank lolly water, or anything else the girls were drinking… it was mostly beer for me at that stage. After a few months I discovered something thanks to a male friend of mine, one night whilst the girls were tearing up the dance floor and we were chatting he divulged that the girls in the group were really intimidated by me. I was shocked and asked why; he gave me the following reason:

  • After school rather than go straight to Uni I had moved interstate, lived and survived on my own and thrived whilst holding down three jobs – all my friends were living the Uni life, some working casual in bars, the others living off the bank of Mum and Dad and they all lived at home.
  • When I go out I have the confidence to wear whatever I am comfortable in and am happy to strike up conversation with pretty much anyone (pretty sure this came from 2 years in a town of 1500 people where you knew everyone so you talked to everyone) – the girls were nervous about approaching new people, particularly guys.
  • I hold my alcohol really well and can keep up with most guys – thanks Ayers Rock alcohol education 🙂 Although I must say that this trait does run in the women of my family for some reason.
  • Because I wear sensible shoes I can pretty much stay out all night without complaining of sore feet – no running around the streets in bare feet for me. It also means I appear to have more stamina.
  • I am able to talk to guys easily, I can hold my own at the pool table and drink with them – What can I say they had a lot of pool tables at Ayers Rock and I like the game. Pretty rusty now though.

It was then I realised that the girls were having as much trouble relating to me as I was to them. By moving interstate and living/surviving on my own, working and paying bills I had matured significantly. In high school we were all having the same experiences and because my friends then went on to Uni even though they were at different Unis studying different subjects they were still having similar life experiences whereas my experiences were completely different. The fact that we were still making such efforts to relate to each other was quite admirable.

It seemed living there gave me the independence to grow into who I was removed from the variety of influences girls in the city have at that age. I am quite thankful for that now, it helped me discover who I was and I don’t spend as much time trying to impress people by behaving in any way that is unnatural to me. Take me as I am world 🙂


52 books in 52 weeks

New Years Eve 2013 resolution time. We are all familiar with the almighty resolutions list we create for ourselves each year, most of us are also aware of exactly how long that list usually lasts, so this year I wanted to create a different kind of list. I didn’t want my list to limit me as much as previous lists have e.g. lose 10kgs – things like this on your list are not fun, they are a chore, for those who are successful with things like this I truly salute you, but I hate them on there. So, since this is my list, this year I put what I wanted on it rather than what I thought I should put on it and so far it has been a lot more fun keeping to the list.

The list

  1. Try new things – Challenge yourself.
  2. Lead a healthier lifestyle – you can combine this with trying new things – e.g. new recipes, new foods, new activities, have fun with it.
  3. “Home truths” – Don’t lie to myself or blame things on others that are all on me.
  4. 52 books in 52 weeks – read 52 books in a year – try new authors, things you wouldn’t normally read and finally read the Hobbit – you have had it for years!!!

It’s a short list, but I have stuck to it for four months and it has been great! Here’s some of my progress:

Try new things:

Done

Home made waffles – I have eaten waffles before, but never cooked them… so good!

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Salmon steaks with rocket and walnut salad – never had either before and cooked it all… I am now a salmon lover! (Not big on seafood generally)

Roast pork loin with roast apples, onion, zucchini and potatoes – I have eaten pork before, but not pork loin and never with roast apples – it was amazing!

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Tried my hand at cake decorating for my brothers birthday, he loved it!

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Until yesterday I had long hair… now… big change!

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Coming soon

I have the ingredients to make individual baileys cheesecakes… that’s going to happen really soon

I am currently devising an Easter activity for my nieces and nephews (oldest is 2.5) which will not cover them in goop whilst still being fun – will post my failure or success haha.

Nieces and nephews are still a little young for tonnes of chocolate so I am thinking decorated cupcakes for easter – watch this space.

 

Healthier Lifestyle

This has ended up being mostly food based, but it is interesting how slight changes have made big differences, where before I would maybe munch on some potato chips I now go for black sesame brown rice crackers – so good! I have a bigger lunch now, rather than just a sandwhich I have salad as well which keeps me fuller and sometimes I don’t even suffer from 3.30itis 🙂

The harder part has been soft drinks, whilst I never had tonnes of it – maybe a glass a day I am now trying to not have any. It’s weird, when you have not had it for some time and you have a glass it makes you feel thirstier than you were originally!

 

Home truths

I came up with this because – well it’s kind of complicated, but I just started seeing so much violence in everyday life and it really bothered me. When I say violence I am being extremely general, in addition to all the horrible events I see in the news I mean the discourteous way people deal with each other on a daily basis. People are so self-involved these days that nothing external seems to penetrate their tiny universe. I had already started thinking along these lines, but decided to include it in my resolutions one day after a woman at the shops was on her phone in her own world and smacked into my trolley (which had my 2 year old nephew in it), lost her balance and impaled my foot with her stiletto. I helped her up and asked if she was ok, to which she replied, “why don’t you watch where you are going you fat f*&#!” My reply, “I might be fat, but you are ugly inside and out and no amount of hooker make up or heels can fix that. Get your potty mouth away from us, I don’t want my kid exposed to your filth” I am not going to lie, that come back felt good. I felt I had managed to knock her down a peg or two without stooping to her level, but hobbling home I found myself reflecting and wondering if I could have done more to avoid that scene. I decided I needed to be more reflective on my behaviour on a full time basis to try and balance out some of the ugly karma in this world 🙂

 

52 books in 52 weeks

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE THIS CHALLENGE!!! Please see progress below:

Number Title Author
1 –

Jan 1-5

Earthly Delights: a Corinna Chapman mystery (2004) Greenwood, Kerry
2 –

Jan 6-12

Heavenly Pleasures: a Corinna Chapman mystery (2005) Greenwood, Kerry
3 –

Jan 13-19

Devil’s Food: a Corinna Chapman mystery (2006) Greenwood, Kerry
4 –

Jan 20-26

Trick or Treat: a Corinna Chapman mystery (2007) Greenwood, Kerry
5 –

Jan 27 – Feb 2

Forbidden Fruit: a Corinna Chapman mystery (2009) Greenwood, Kerry
6 –

Feb 3-9

Cooking the Books: a Corinna Chapman mystery (2011) Greenwood, Kerry
7 –

Feb 10-16

Babies in Waiting (2012) Fiore, Rosie
8 –

Feb 17-23

Kushiel’s Dart(2001) Carey, Jacqueline
9 –

Feb 24–Mar 2

Kushiel’s Chosen (2002) Carey, Jacqueline
10 –

Mar 3-9

Kushiel’s Avatar (2003) Carey, Jacqueline
11 –

Mar 10-16

A Storm of Swords (A Song of Ice and Fire) Martin, George R. R.
12 –

Mar 17-23

A Feast for Crows (A Song of Ice and Fire) Martin, George R. R.
13 –

Mar 24-30

A Dance with Dragons (A Song of Ice and Fire) Martin, George R. R.
14 – Mar 31 – Apr 6 Divergent Roth, Veronica
15 –

Apr 7-13

Insurgent Roth, Veronica
16 –

Apr 14-20

Allegiant Roth, Veronica

 

Let me know if you want information on the books I have read, happy to share thoughts or recommendations. If you have a recommendation for me to include in my 52 books in 52 weeks journey please recommend away 🙂


The Big Bang Theory – A love story

 

 

 

My first foray into BBT seems so long ago now, my [then] boyfriend sat me down and said, “you have to watch this it’s so hilarious”, considering some of the utter crap he had exposed me too in the past I must admit I sat down with a fair amount of trepidation and a neutral smile plastered on my face.

So the show begins and two guys walk on, from the way they are dressed they are obviously supposed to be societies accepted view of ‘nerds’ and I think to myself ‘sigh another one of those nerd shows where it’s all about comicon’ and then they walk through a door into a medical facility, the receptionist requests they wait and goes back to her crossword at which point one of the ‘nerds’ looks over and gives her all the answers ‘I think I would hit someone if they did that to me’ and then…

Receptionist: Can I help you?

Leonard: Yes. Um, is this the High IQ sperm bank?

Receptionist: If you have to ask, maybe you shouldn’t be here.

Sheldon: I think this is the place.

Receptionist: Fill these out.

Leonard: Thank-you. We’ll be right back.

Receptionist: Oh, take your time. I’ll just finish my crossword puzzle. Oh wait.

Oops that was a giggle… the neutral smile turned into a real one. Then in the short conversation that followed they discussed the fact that to go through with donating sperm would be ‘genetic fraud’ as there was no guarantee the offspring would have a high IQ. Then the laughter really began, it wasn’t so much that the script itself was hilarious, it was that I have met people like this. In fact I remember going to a Christmas function for my Partners work (works in IT) and after the guys got off their faces (we girls were still sober because someone had to get them home safe) they started what they thought was a very serious and meaningful conversation about the evolution of the condom from history to present day, this included listing the animals parts they were made from and discussions as to how useful each was and a discussion on the manufacturing process of condoms both in ancient times and today (in case you’re wondering the popular consensus was that in the past people most likely manufactured their own rather than purchasing them at ‘Ye Olde Condom Kingdom’ and that in all likelihood they were reused until perforated).

After that first episode I became addicted, mostly because I found hilarity in the similarities between the characters and people I have actually met. I have met someone that has MANY of Sheldon’s quirks (AKA rampant undiagnosed/untreated OCD) this includes the crazy food and daily regime. For instance if they are at work they go to the toilet at the same times each day and use the second last toilet stall, if someone is in there and they can’t pee they become visibly distressed. One of the funniest times was when I went grocery shopping with them and something on their weekly list (seriously the same list every week) was not available. They refused to believe the store had completely run out and made the clerk check everywhere, when none were found they asked to speak to the manager and lodged a complaint that the stores ordering policy was floored. By this time I had already abandoned them for the coffee shop outside.

Then there was the time I went to see the new Conan movie with my [now] hubby and his mate, I’ll be honest I was mostly there to see Jason Momoa in a loin cloth. The lights go down, the popcorn crunches, the choc tops start melting and the movie begins… the first fight scene erupts in an amazing choreographed display of visual rippling muscle awesomeness and hubby’s friend exclaims, “I wonder what the stats are on a sword like that?!” queue me choking on my drink!

Raj can’t speak to women… I know a guy who magically develops a MASSIVE stuttering problem when confronted with women in person (he works in a call centre – he can deal with them over the phone).

Howard is a perve who lives with his Mum… this is so so common it’s not funny. Seriously have you never seen the movie failure to launch? If not don’t bother, Zooey Deschanel is the best thing about that whole movie, just google it and read the summary. Basically it’s all about 30+ year olds that refuse to fly the coop!

Sheldon is some kind of crazy mix of anthropomorphic robot, OCD nut, Einstein-like, celebrity stalker, arrogant nerd with border-line personality disorder who looks like an awkward serial killer when he smiles. I have never met a serial killer, but I certainly wouldn’t be surprised to see Jim Parsons with a cameo in an upcoming Criminal Minds episode – I’d believe that! The rest of these personality traits I have seen, just never in the same body. Perhaps he was constructed by aliens and put on Earth to drive everyone nuts! My favourite parts are when he has no clue of societal protocol or urban slang, “What exactly does that expression mean, ‘friends with benefits?’ Does he provide her with health insurance?” or “You bought me a present? Why would you do such a thing? I know you think you’re being generous, but the foundation of gift giving is reciprocity. You haven’t given me a gift, you’ve given me an obligation. The essence of the custom is that I now have to go out and purchase for you a gift of commensurate value and representing the same perceived level of friendship as that represented by the gift you’ve given me. Ah, it’s no wonder suicide rates skyrocket this time of year. Oh, I brought this on myself by being such an endearing and important part of your life…”

Leonard seems to be the only truly straight man in the show as all other characters seem to display some level of pansexuality at one point or another. The few times you see him in a t-shirt you realise he is actually a built little unit, which is odd for your stereotypical ‘nerd’, but then I suppose when you look like the offspring of Brooke Shields and Eugene Levy you have to make something to even out the ‘brows! His interactions with Sheldon and Penny really make the show and he is a great catalyst for a lot of the humour in the show… of course it could just be that he is greatly expressive with the eyebrows and they work as a distraction. He is the non perverted version of Howard (with MUCH better dress sense – seriously Howard just because all the things you have on are green it doesn’t mean they should be worn together!) he really wants to have relationships and even gets into a few, but is just not very good at maintaining them, some element of insecurity and craziness always gets in the way… which pretty much relates to most failed relationships throughout the history of time.

Since this is now incredibly long (possibly my longest post ever) I feel it is time to bid you adieu. Whilst I am positive there are massive non-lovers of BBT out there and I appreciate your opinion, you will not change my love for the show. I think if you don’t know people like this the show can seem fake, but when you do know people like this it is just hilarious. I am currently searching for the original pilot as it was apparently extremely different and only 2 characters made it to the show we now know and love!

Here’s one of my favs from Penny the corn fed Mid West All American girl with a lotta spunk about her:

Penny: Give my friend his stuff back.
Tod: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Penny: Well then good news! Today’s the day a girl’s finally going to touch you in your little special place. *Kicks him in the groin*

Who of these characters weren't in the original line up?


A Very Bridal Christmas

So we did it, I am a married woman… was it everything I expected… kinda more actually.

7am – I wake up to torrential rain… in fact it was the crescendo of the rain against the roof that woke me at such an ungodly hour on the day of my wedding when I should have been attempting a last minute “ditch the bags underneath the eyes” beauty sleep. In my sleep brain stupor I thought, oh god that can’t be rain, so I half-hopped – half-rolled, but mostly dragged myself out of the single bed in the guest bedroom of my parents house, opened the bedroom door and peeked out into the hallway to the front door the entire wall of which is mostly glass. A moment later the constant drum of rain on the roof was interrupted as I cursed like a truckie when I saw the crazed downpour that was occurring outside! The PG version ranted similar to the following, lousy no good lying weatherman… what does he know?! Should be clearing pfft! It’s heavier than it has been for the last week! It’s a freaking hurricane out there!!!

I then realised that I was not the first to rise and my father was already awake watching the the floodwaters rise (okay so I am being a little dramatic, but there are only so many ways to say it was pissing down before you actually say that!). Decided to forget about it and deal with it as it comes, it would all be okay as long as my Maid of Honour brought me the cappuccino she had promised and the other bridesmaid who was flying in from Cairns actually arrives here – Seriously there is too much abuse aimed at QANTAS to explain that story… long story short… she should have arrived at 10am on Friday, but QANTAS overbooked her flight by 30 people and then was extremely rude to her when she explained her urgent need to get to Sydney on the next flight, the staff member was stupid enough to admit that they had overbooked every flight out of Cairns by at least 20 people for the whole weekend and she probably wouldn’t get to Sydney until Monday. Ohhh Fuuuuu….. so I told her to go back and demand a manager and threaten to call every news crew in Cairns to get them there to see all the teary people that don’t make it on flights this weekend… She got a full refund of her tickets and free flights to and from Sydney! TA-DA that’s how you deal with QANTAS it turns out.

So Maid of Honour comes through with the coffee… Bridesmaid calls from the airport at 10am to ask where I am… ahhh I’m at home I told you we couldn’t pick you up today. Jump on the train it comes pretty much to the door, my Dad will come pick you up. Ok… 10 minutes later… the rain has flooded the train tunnels and the trains aren’t running… OH FUUUUUUUUU……. this is the address get in a cab!

So eventually I get all my bridesmaids in a row… yes believe it, but then one of them couldn’t get her dress done up all the way… hysterical laughter outside, kinda over the drama as none of it was created by me, but everyone expects me to fix it so get a drink and go for a walk outside… she got into it in the end… she has a 3 month old bub and she hadn’t fed her yet so she expressed milk and then magically fit into her dress. I don’t know why she then took the milk with her into the wedding car… because then we had to find somewhere to leave it before she could get out of the car. People seriously… common sense!!!!!

Meanwhile everyone is running around like chooks with their heads cut off trying to figure out why I am not stressed… they almost lost their minds when no one could get my 6month old nephew to sleep – he had been crying for almost an hour when I demanded my Dad hand him over (my bro and his partner had gone down the street to get her hair done) 10mins later he was out to it and I put him in his cot – stressed people does not a sleeping baby make!

My friend who did my hair and makeup turned up on time because she is amazing and did my hair and makeup beautifully! So well that my Mum then asked if she had time to do hers. Seriously she is so amazing – she has even done hair and makeup for music videos! I had organised for everyone to have lunch because I have been bridesmaid many times where there was plenty of alcohol and no food and therefore bridesmaids staggering down the aisle. Unfortunately, by the time my hair and makeup was done everyone had eaten everything and not thought to put food aside for me hahaha, so Dani (hair and makeup genius) and I gorged on Tim Tams and had a Tia Maria and Lemonade each instead… totally a decent pre-wedding feast 😀

So we get there 10mins early to be told we might have to start late because 2 of the groomsmen stayed in the hotel room to help their wives get their babies ready – seriously?! The wives are incapable of handling a 6 month old?… okay then… – so I let them know if the boys are not here by 4pm I am walking down the aisle and they can feel bad about it because they were told to be there by 3.30pm! Cue one of the flower girls having a fit – and cue me not being surprised because I had predicted this… hence 2 flower girls. So only one flower girl walked down the aisle.

Meanwhile for an hour that morning the girls had practised walking to the music… slowly… steadily… I made them walk extra slow because I figured they would quicken up due to nerves. Not only did they quicken up they pretty much cantered down the aisle and didn’t wait for me to cue them to walk… ahh where did the girls go? Oh crap they are all down there already… oh well guess Dad and I will still chill out here and wait for the next chorus to come around… waiting… waiting… oh there it is okay Dad let’s go!

So out we walk… the sun is shining, the flower girl who has only just learnt my name (she’s 2.5yrs old give her a break) is screaming out, “Mummy look! Cat! Cat! Mummy pretty Cat!” and trying to run back down the aisle to me, my Mum is crying, other people are crying and trying to get my attention, the hella late groomsmen both showed, the groomsmen left on their sunnies… but I didn’t notice. Didn’t see any of it! All I saw was Trent waiting for me at the end of the aisle. Hard, practical, logical, organised Trent… grinning and brimming with tears at the sight of me… and all of a sudden I felt like a beautiful goddess.

I remember every part of the ceremony because we never took our eyes off each other, someone apologised to me later for arriving halfway through the ceremony… I couldn’t have told you they weren’t there… for that 30mins in time there were no other people, there was only me and him… and it was PERFECT!

 


Samhain

What is Halloween to you? Growing up in Australia, there was never much celebration of Halloween, it was widely thought of as an American holiday. As a kid I really didn’t care, I just loved the idea of dressing up and getting free candy and was not impressed that I couldn’t do so. However as I grew up a bit and discovered my love of the Celtic culture I discovered that there was a different side to Halloween, it is believed that it is linked (or that it developed from) the festival of Samhain or summer’s end.

Whilst Halloween is celebrated on one night Samhain was actually a harvest festival and celebrations sometimes went for days. There are many similarities posed to a festival of the dead and in some Gaelic folklore it is referred to as such. Whilst it was a harvest festival and celebrated summer’s end, it is also believed that the celebration held spiritual undertones where the long days were now passed and the long nights would begin, it was believed that the veil between the living world and the afterlife was thin. Families come together, build bonfires, feast, sing, dance and tell stories of loved ones who have passed, some still hold the custom today of setting a place for the deceased.

There is a lot more to this story I know, I have basically provided a brief summary of hundreds of years of tradition, but if I went into much detail I may offend or start a massive debate 😀 Which is not my aim.

Having Gaelic ancestors that I know very little of I am very interested in this culture, apart from the fact it is a harvest festival and time to take stock of supplies for the winter (apparently a lot of what is consumed during the feasts is perishables). I find the custom of celebrating the lives of one’s ancestors a rather beautiful tradition, having a celebration during which you tell stories of their lives in a way I believe really does bring part of them back because you are renewing your love for them and their memory in your heart and those of your family. In this day and age sometimes we forget to really spend time remembering and telling stories to our children of those who have come before us and I find that a little sad. My nephew (the first in my family) is now almost 4 months old and my grandfather and grandmother passed away almost 10 years ago now – way before everyone had webcams, YouTube and Smartphones etc. they were from the days where the phones were so big it took a whole day to dial a number. My family have started writing or typing up little titbits and stories about my grandparents before we forget them, in the effort to create a kind of ancestor folk lore pool of knowledge (ooh just made that up, but doesn’t it sound schnazzy!), we realised that we had forgotten so much about two people who were such a major part of our lives and that my nephew (Hendrix) would never know them if we didn’t tell him about them. So we hope to tell him stories about them so that he learns about where and who he came from. I might share some soon…

Hendrix

Meanwhile just as a side note… I still love dressing up in costume and partying on Halloween and am completely stoked that Australian’s are now very accepting about the holiday (20 years later). I am even having my hen’s party on Halloween weekend and we will be dressing as a bevy of Pirates! As a lover of Gilbert & Sullivan as a child and Johnny Depp as an adult there really was no better choice was there?! I finally get to be a Pirate Queen!!! What/who will you be on Halloween?

Grace O'Malley