So we did it, I am a married woman… was it everything I expected… kinda more actually.
7am – I wake up to torrential rain… in fact it was the crescendo of the rain against the roof that woke me at such an ungodly hour on the day of my wedding when I should have been attempting a last minute “ditch the bags underneath the eyes” beauty sleep. In my sleep brain stupor I thought, oh god that can’t be rain, so I half-hopped – half-rolled, but mostly dragged myself out of the single bed in the guest bedroom of my parents house, opened the bedroom door and peeked out into the hallway to the front door the entire wall of which is mostly glass. A moment later the constant drum of rain on the roof was interrupted as I cursed like a truckie when I saw the crazed downpour that was occurring outside! The PG version ranted similar to the following, lousy no good lying weatherman… what does he know?! Should be clearing pfft! It’s heavier than it has been for the last week! It’s a freaking hurricane out there!!!
I then realised that I was not the first to rise and my father was already awake watching the the floodwaters rise (okay so I am being a little dramatic, but there are only so many ways to say it was pissing down before you actually say that!). Decided to forget about it and deal with it as it comes, it would all be okay as long as my Maid of Honour brought me the cappuccino she had promised and the other bridesmaid who was flying in from Cairns actually arrives here – Seriously there is too much abuse aimed at QANTAS to explain that story… long story short… she should have arrived at 10am on Friday, but QANTAS overbooked her flight by 30 people and then was extremely rude to her when she explained her urgent need to get to Sydney on the next flight, the staff member was stupid enough to admit that they had overbooked every flight out of Cairns by at least 20 people for the whole weekend and she probably wouldn’t get to Sydney until Monday. Ohhh Fuuuuu….. so I told her to go back and demand a manager and threaten to call every news crew in Cairns to get them there to see all the teary people that don’t make it on flights this weekend… She got a full refund of her tickets and free flights to and from Sydney! TA-DA that’s how you deal with QANTAS it turns out.
So Maid of Honour comes through with the coffee… Bridesmaid calls from the airport at 10am to ask where I am… ahhh I’m at home I told you we couldn’t pick you up today. Jump on the train it comes pretty much to the door, my Dad will come pick you up. Ok… 10 minutes later… the rain has flooded the train tunnels and the trains aren’t running… OH FUUUUUUUUU……. this is the address get in a cab!
So eventually I get all my bridesmaids in a row… yes believe it, but then one of them couldn’t get her dress done up all the way… hysterical laughter outside, kinda over the drama as none of it was created by me, but everyone expects me to fix it so get a drink and go for a walk outside… she got into it in the end… she has a 3 month old bub and she hadn’t fed her yet so she expressed milk and then magically fit into her dress. I don’t know why she then took the milk with her into the wedding car… because then we had to find somewhere to leave it before she could get out of the car. People seriously… common sense!!!!!
Meanwhile everyone is running around like chooks with their heads cut off trying to figure out why I am not stressed… they almost lost their minds when no one could get my 6month old nephew to sleep – he had been crying for almost an hour when I demanded my Dad hand him over (my bro and his partner had gone down the street to get her hair done) 10mins later he was out to it and I put him in his cot – stressed people does not a sleeping baby make!
My friend who did my hair and makeup turned up on time because she is amazing and did my hair and makeup beautifully! So well that my Mum then asked if she had time to do hers. Seriously she is so amazing – she has even done hair and makeup for music videos! I had organised for everyone to have lunch because I have been bridesmaid many times where there was plenty of alcohol and no food and therefore bridesmaids staggering down the aisle. Unfortunately, by the time my hair and makeup was done everyone had eaten everything and not thought to put food aside for me hahaha, so Dani (hair and makeup genius) and I gorged on Tim Tams and had a Tia Maria and Lemonade each instead… totally a decent pre-wedding feast 😀
So we get there 10mins early to be told we might have to start late because 2 of the groomsmen stayed in the hotel room to help their wives get their babies ready – seriously?! The wives are incapable of handling a 6 month old?… okay then… – so I let them know if the boys are not here by 4pm I am walking down the aisle and they can feel bad about it because they were told to be there by 3.30pm! Cue one of the flower girls having a fit – and cue me not being surprised because I had predicted this… hence 2 flower girls. So only one flower girl walked down the aisle.
Meanwhile for an hour that morning the girls had practised walking to the music… slowly… steadily… I made them walk extra slow because I figured they would quicken up due to nerves. Not only did they quicken up they pretty much cantered down the aisle and didn’t wait for me to cue them to walk… ahh where did the girls go? Oh crap they are all down there already… oh well guess Dad and I will still chill out here and wait for the next chorus to come around… waiting… waiting… oh there it is okay Dad let’s go!
So out we walk… the sun is shining, the flower girl who has only just learnt my name (she’s 2.5yrs old give her a break) is screaming out, “Mummy look! Cat! Cat! Mummy pretty Cat!” and trying to run back down the aisle to me, my Mum is crying, other people are crying and trying to get my attention, the hella late groomsmen both showed, the groomsmen left on their sunnies… but I didn’t notice. Didn’t see any of it! All I saw was Trent waiting for me at the end of the aisle. Hard, practical, logical, organised Trent… grinning and brimming with tears at the sight of me… and all of a sudden I felt like a beautiful goddess.
I remember every part of the ceremony because we never took our eyes off each other, someone apologised to me later for arriving halfway through the ceremony… I couldn’t have told you they weren’t there… for that 30mins in time there were no other people, there was only me and him… and it was PERFECT!
Ditch the Bun 