Ahh spam… we all get it. Usually it is offers for a bigger penis or a longer lasting erection, both of which I obviously need because currently I have no penis so obviously more of one would be a good idea? The lack of penis obviously means I have never had an erection so I guess a longer lasting one would be a good thing?
I digress…
I received some spam on my blog yesterday in the form of some comments, usually they are pretty boring, things like, “Hey your post is awesome, for a bigger audience go to xxx” or for some reason I also seem to get a bunch where they have posted excerpts from books or something. The couple I found yesterday broke my brain. Seriously you guys, trying to read this had me going cross eyed hahaha.
Here it is: “Outset of whole I would same to articulate rattling blog! I had a prompt head inn which I’d care too inquire if you do non judgment. I was curious to have intercourse how you shopping centre yourself and straighten ouut your heed before writing. I accept had trouble clarification my thoughts in acquiring my thoughts stunned on that point. I in truth do takings joy in penning withal itt only seems corresponding the for the first time 10 to 15 minutes are skeletal merelly fair nerve-racking to build knocked out how to set about. Any suggestions or hints? Thanks!”
Any suggestions or hints? Yup… DICTIONARY!!! Get one! 
“I was curious to have intercourse how you shopping centre yourself” – Uhh what?
I am not sure what is involved with shopping centre-ing oneself, but it sounds like it could be painful to either my person or my wallet. Neither of which is interested in pain right now.
The other one I received read as follows: “Its same you pick up my listen! You appear to empathize a caboodle almost this, so much as you wrote the guide on in it or something. I palpate that you just coulkd do with some percent to cause thhe subject matter household a bit, but former than that, ths is magnificent blog. A capital learn. I leave by all odds be endorse.”
What the hell is a ‘caboodle’? I Googled it (because that’s what I do) and it was decidedly unhelpful. Sigh, there is simply no Rosetta stone for deciphering my spam.
So apparently something is being endorsed, I am hoping it is me, but as I sign off from my post I remain completely confused by what I have read. Can you make any sense of it?
Ditch the Bun 
April 12th, 2015 at 4:23 am
Bravo! I have considered such a topic several times, but you actually addressed it.
April 12th, 2015 at 5:28 pm
Thanks. I had to, they were way too weird hahaha.
April 12th, 2015 at 8:52 am
My first thought is that someone wrote something in another language, that was horribly mis-translated. Otherwise, I have no idea. On another note: a caboodle is something from the 1980s!! It was a (for lack of better description) toolbox type of holder that girls used for things like hair products, jewelry, nail polish, or whatever. Or, it’s part of the phrase “the whole kit and caboodle”…in which case I have no idea what a caboodle is there. I know that isn’t helpful at all lol, but just thought I’d put in my two cents!! 😀
April 12th, 2015 at 6:01 pm
I thought that was a possibility too, it was just too weird.
I did see those caboodles when I was googling. I have no idea was a ‘caboodle’ is as far as “kit and caboodle” is either. I Googled it… you can find the meaning here http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/kit-and-caboodle.html heehee
April 12th, 2015 at 11:21 pm
Hahaha thanks
April 12th, 2015 at 10:17 am
This is hilarious. I don’t usually see my spam but I might have a look now.
April 12th, 2015 at 6:01 pm
Thanks. You should check it out. So funny!
April 12th, 2015 at 3:51 pm
You definitely have me curious about my spam! I can see why that would break your brain! 🙂
April 12th, 2015 at 9:20 pm
Check it out, hopefully your brain doesn’t break, but it might make you giggle 🙂
April 13th, 2015 at 2:04 am
I’ve been thinking about this since I read your post. Seriously! Here I am, with tons to do and my mind keeps wandering back to spam…. 🙂
April 13th, 2015 at 3:21 pm
Yeah, see the tons to do is why I had not dealt with my spam folder in a LONG time hahaha.
April 22nd, 2015 at 1:15 pm
Sorry, that was me. Commenting again in my native tongue – Drunkovian. I forget not everyone is fluent. 😉
April 22nd, 2015 at 1:16 pm
Hahaha so you’re the culprit. I should have known 🙂